I have to confess something. For the last 2 weeks I have been watching the T.V show "More to Love", there I said it. I have been a long time boy cotter of shows like "The Bachelor" and "the Bachelorette" feeling that nothing worth while could possibly come from one man or one woman trying to find love in a house full of the opposite sex. However, for some unknown reason, this particular show has gotten my attention. The premise is exactly the same as the above mentioned programs, only this one has a cast of "bigger" girls and one "bigger" man. Hence the programs title, "More to Love". Is the reason I am drawn to it because I myself am considered to be a "bigger" girl? Perhaps. Or could it be because after watching the first episode I became invested in the lives of these young woman, willing my voice to be heard through the T.V...."Don't do it, get out while you can, you are beautiful, don't lower yourself to the level of the production company!!!!!" Can you sense my frustration?
So how about some vulnerability? Sure why not, this is my blog and I can cry if I want too, right????? Just kidding, there are no tears. I am a 35 year old women, single, I have a beautiful 12 year old daughter (and by beautiful I mean on the INSIDE and the OUTSIDE), I have never been married, but have been in one long term relationship. I am also a "bigger" girl. I have never been really great at dating and relationships, I guess because the right man has never dropped from the sky. But also because I have never, up until recently found much worth in myself, why? Because I was focused on my outside appearance and not on what my heart looked like. Don't get me wrong, I am not hard on the eyes, at least I don't think so, I am called "cute", "pretty", two words that used to make me cringe, now though, I am proud to be called those things. Now I know that my inside counts for more than my outside. I have not mastered this yet, but am working on it. I Have been rejected in the past by more than one man because my my outward appearance, sad really isn't it, that our society has made us into such surface creatures. The enemy loves it! He gets into our heads to reiterate the words "you are worth nothing, look at you, you are overweight, you don't dress in the right clothes"......etc..... We have all heard that voice haven't we? the words may be different but the idea is the same, and the effect on us can sometimes be paralyzing. This is the reason I am invested in those women from "More to Love". They are saying the words I have heard so many women say, including myself. They long to be loved by someone who actually SEES them. I wish that I could tell them who that man is, that they have been "fearfully and wonderfully made". The one who truly matters loves them and sees them for who they are, beautiful,intelligent, amazing women.
I wonder, what would Jesus say to me about all of this? Why do I concentrate on the voice of my enemy instead of the voice of my Saviour? Think about what Jesus would say about you and jot some of the words down, keep them close by you always so that you can look at them to remind you of your beauty. What does it mean to be a godly woman? Is it really important to God that we wear designer jeans and have our hair perfectly highlighted, of course not. It is important to look after ourselves, to be healthy, but to strive for perfection will only find you empty.
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised
Thank you for seeing us, for loving us with no strings attached. May we all listen closely for your voice. I pray Lord that the beauty of our hearts shine through. For all of the lonely men and women out there looking for love, may they find peace in your arms. Amen
Zōē in the Dark Tower
2 days ago