A journey of discovery (part 1)

I am on a journey, a quest if you will, to find out how to be the best possible woman I can be. This statement of course, encompasses a whole gamut of things, but I want to focus on the relational part of me. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I am a 35 year old woman, single, never been married. I have also stated that I am not great at relationships, the male/female kind, the kind that our hearts long for, you know the ones I mean. The kind of relationships that we see on T.V and in the movies. Yes, that's right, I do think that those relationships, the ones that most people call unrealistic, DO in fact exist. Don't get me wrong, I don't have this idea of my future husband and I skipping through a field of daisies everyday, hand in hand with smiles as big as the ocean. I know there are struggles and that marriage is hard work, but despite that fact, I think that if we are committed to allowing God to show us how, than it can be a beautiful thing. So, that is my quest, to allow God to come and show me how I can be the best wife that I can be instead of focused on finding the right husband.

Lets take a good look at what the bible says about a good wife......

Proverbs 31
Hymn to a Good Wife
10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!


Easy breezy right???? NOT! I have pondered this scripture many times, hoping every time I looked at it, studied it, that I would be able to see myself in the words......knitting and sewing, up before dawn preparing breakfast, eager to start her work,in no hurry to call it quits for the day, skilled in crafts, makes her own clothing, always faces tomorrow with a smile, always speaks kindly. Just a few examples of where I have not seen my face in these words. I sometimes think to myself, no wonder God has not sent a husband if this is who I should be. I am a failure! Just what the enemy wants me to think right?

I know that I am not a failure, I know that I am a great woman, a strong woman, a kind and loving woman. I also know that I need the Lord to show me how I can be a better woman. I could focus on the knitting and sewing, which if you know me well is pretty funny, or I could put this scripture into perspective for my own life.

Here are my thoughts......

1. A good wife is trustworthy. She never gives her husband reason to question her integrity and complete devotion to him. He never has to wonder where she is, what she is doing and who she is with. We hear a lot today about unfaithful husbands and wives, enough to make someone who is single question the longing for marriage, again something the enemy loves to hear, this gives him a foothold doesn't it?

2. A good wife is devoted to bringing her husband good and not harm, therefore she is never spiteful and never uses hurtful words. This is a hard one, sometimes I am guilty of saying things to people that I love in hurt that in turn hurts them. The only way to combat this is prayer. Knowing that our loving Father will remove the desire to hurt the ones we love.

3. A good wife is a good steward. This means that she is wise with money and assets. She delights in doing good for her family and provides for them in any way she can. She works hard and thinks nothing of it, in fact she enjoys working hard for her family so much that she is in no hurry to stop for the day. Hard one, I don't know about you but once 4:25 comes I am pretty much ready to leave work for the day. I also have my guilty pleasures, like Starbucks coffee to name one. If I am truly a good steward, than perhaps spending 4 to 6 dollars on a coffee is not the right choice to make. That may not be the case for everyone and I am not slamming Starbucks, believe me.

So, just a couple of things to ponder. I am working hard at really understanding this Proverbs 31 woman. Will you join me? I will post part 2 in the days to come.

Father,

I ask that you reveal the lessons to me that I need to take from this scripture. Allow my heart to open, so that I may see the areas that I need to work on in order to become the woman that You have created me to be. For all of the ladies that I know, married or not, I pray that your Holy Spirit would come upon us, mold us father, like clay, into what You want to see. Amen

Blessings,