Throughout my life I have heard about people being "called" to this or that, not really understanding what that meant. I suppose when I was really little I imagined this big cloud appearing to these people and a loud booming voice from the cloud saying "I want you to be a doctor" or "I want you to move into the jungle". Funny when I think of it now. As I got older I have to admit I was pretty indifferent about the called of my church congregation, that was good for them, but for me, nope, God was not calling me to do anything special.
As I reflect now on the indifference I felt, I realize it was the enemy speaking to me. Yes, satan does has a booming voice sometimes. I felt that I was not good enough to be called, or strong enough, or smart enough, basically I wasn't anything enough. I was focused so much on the me and not the HIM. The enemy grabbed a hold of that telling me that God would never use a girl like me, I was not like the other girls in my church, I was far from perfect and God only uses the close to perfect if not the absolute perfect to do anything for Him. In light of these so called truths I was hearing I walked away. I didn't want to be a hypocrite and used that as the perfect excuse not to go to church or to continue hanging out with my friends from church. I didn't turn my back on God, I used that aspect in times of sadness or trouble, times when I didn't study much for an exam and needed God to intervene. I was nothing special. I had nothing special to offer. I made choices that reflected this self dialogue (with the help of some well trained demons).
I made choices to drink alcohol, to have inappropriate relationships, conversations with friends had very little to do with God if anything to do with Him at all. I kept that piece of my heart hidden. I was not a wild child or anything, don't get me wrong, but I wanted to enjoy my life, I wanted to have fun and believed the lies I was hearing that walking with God wouldn't give me that. I stand (actually I am sitting, but in my heart I am standing before all of you) before you today to say walking with God, in the will of God is the most exciting place I have been. He is bringing me to things that I could never have imagined for myself. He is showing me how big He is, He is showing me that surrendering is courageous, that lifting my hands to Him and saying "do what you will" is truly an adventure. He is showing me that it is NOT about me, it is about HIM and He will make me into a world changer, something I wanted to be all my life but never would have been if it were not for Him.
I write to encourage all of us, we are all called to be world changers. So, let's change the world people, one person at a time.
Blessings,
Alisa’s New Site
5 years ago
