Ordinary me, Extraordinary God

Put the old away

2011-02-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

The beggar could hardly believe his luck! Just that morning he'd been prowling the streets looking for food, scrounging in dumpsters, and begging at back doors of restaurants. But tonight he would be dining with a king.
"Your presence has been requested" was the only explanation the driver of the long black limo gave when he opened the sleek door and helped him in.
When they arrived at the palace, the butler showed him to his room and brought in a set of new clothes for the man to wear. The beggar accepted that garments but carefully rolled up the rags he'd been wearing and tucked them under his arm. After all, he never knew when he might need them.
That night, clothed in a fine tuxedo, the beggar sat by the king himself. Rich paintings and expensive chandeliers hung all around him. Bowls and platters of the finest food lined the table. But the most beautiful of all was the kind attention the king gave to the nervous man - asking him questions, drawing out details about the beggars life he had never shared with anyone.
"I hope you will stay," the king said as the meal was about to end. "I would like you to consider this your home."
So the beggar remained. He lived for years in the king's palace and dressed in the kings finery. Every night he dined at the kings table - not as a guest, but as a friend. Yet, he insisted on carrying his bundle of rags everywhere he went. For he never knew when he might need them.
Many years later, when the man died, they buried him with his bundle of rags. For the torn, tattered, rolled up clothes had become his identity. "The ragman," they called him. And everyone mourned, including the king.
For his friend, the beggar, could have been so much more if he'd been able to let go of what he once was. (Having a mary spirit, Weaver, source unknown)

Ummmmm...How many of us cling to who we once were? How many of us buy the lies from the pit of hell that we are who we once were, that our mistakes and pasts will follow us always and that God would never use us because of it? How many of us hold on to our past regrets because we don't feel like we are any better? How many of us carry our tattered and rolled up clothes with us, just in case we might need them?

I think if we are all honest, we would have to agree that most of us do this. But God tells us to put the old away, He tells us to clothe ourselves with Christ, he tells us that we are new creations in Him. Why then, do we let ourselves believe that because of our past mistakes God would not use us? I thought this for many years, I gave satan not only a foothold, I gave him an RV and invited him to stay, to lie to me, because I was going to believe anything he told me. NOT ANYMORE!!!! Nope, because despite my mistakes, God is using me, molding me, gifting me, allowing me the privlege to be used for his kingdom. And He will use you too, if you let him. Don't listen anymore to satans lies, he has already lost the battle, take the control back and believe that God is who he says He is, that He loves you more than you could ever imagine and He wants to use you in great and mighty ways. Let God lead you to places and to people that you never thought you would ever go, let go of the tattered clothes you once wore and take up the new you. You are beautiful no matter where you have been or what you have done in God's eyes, seek him to restore you and to forgive you and then wait for the most amazing adventure of your life.

Fear Not

2011-01-25T11:42:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 41:10-14

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
11 “All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish.
12 Though you search for your enemies,
you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
will be as nothing at all.
13 For I am the LORD your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
14 Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
little Israel, do not fear,
for I myself will help you,” declares the LORD,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

Approximately 365 times in the bible we are told "Do not be afraid", "do not fear", "take courage" etc....So why do we live in fear? We fear people, we fear death, we fear losing our pride, making a mistake, we fear losing Someone, we fear sickness and suffering, we fear almost EVERYTHING, if we're honest. To be fair, some of us are more fearful than others. There are a lot of people out there who we could take note of because of their courage....are you one of them, or do you let fear control you?

One of the things I learned as a student was when the teacher said something more than once, it was important and should be memorized, underlined, highlighted, because I would need it. So why do you think God told us over and over again not to be afraid? Well, the answer is pretty simple isn't it? WE ARE NOT TO BE AFRAID. We are to trust God, no matter what, because we will be asked to do things that are scary, we will find ourselves in situations that are scary, but the Lord is bigger than anything we face. Satan will use fear to cripple us in doing the work God wants us to do. Let's claim the command "Do not fear" daily, 365 times, before you set foot out of bed every morning. Look at God and what He can do, not at the fear. We can do big things in this world, believe it and take courage.

Greetings

2010-12-24T15:18:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas From Uganda.

Happy Birthday to you JESUS! You are the greatest gift ever given. Thank you for changing my life and giving me hope.

Freedom from the guilt of ugly words...

2010-12-18T08:36:00.000-05:00

Freedom from the word of God.....

Isaiah 6: 5-6

5 “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.”

6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”

Thank you Father.

2010-12-13T09:12:00.000-05:00

It happened pretty innocently. My internal dialogue went something like this, "I am only trying to defend myself, I am trying to make her see the injustice here, why can't she see me, why has she never seen me for who I am instead of the ridiculous girl she thinks I am?"

The story is not important, the details a waste of space. What's important is that I hurt someone I loved. I spoke without thinking, I did what I do frequently, speaking my mind when I have no place to do so, judging someone else because of my own insecurity. I wasn't even speaking to the person that I hurt, sadly I haven't since, and now it is too late.

I am reading a book right now that talks about the "flesh woman" inside of all of us ladies, the one we don't like to talk about, the one that rents out space inside of us, the one we have tried desperately to evict, but no matter how many notices we give her, she just doesn't ever leave completely! My flesh woman can be nasty, she can rear her ugly head at any moment, saying or thinking things that the heart woman in me despises. Can you relate? Probably.

I have read the following verse many times before, only now really allowing myself to process it.

James 3: 3-6 (The Message)

3-5A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!
5-6It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

My cousin, Brenna is the one that I hurt with my words. My cousin, who from the moment she came into this world was adored by me. I was 12 when Brenna was born, and boy did it feel good not to be the youngest in the family anymore. I would take her sledding, to amusment parks and the zoo, we would go and see movies, we just had fun together and I loved being admired the way that I was!!! Heehee...don't we all love that??? As Brenna got older we spent less and less time together, we lived in different cities and our lives went in different directions, as they do. I will regret not taking the time out of our busy lives to see eachother. Most of all I will regret saying what I said to my Grandmother about Brenna.

Brenna was killed last week in a car accident, 24 years old, beautiful inside and out, and loved by so many. This experience has taught me a lot about my words and my thoughts, about keeping my mouth shut when I should, about loving without judgment. I will always regret not having the opportunity to tell Brenna that I was sorry and that no matter what choices she made it did not make me love her any less. Today I want to say, Brenna I love you, and I always will, you will always be in my heart and I will miss you.

If there is someone in your life that you need to reconcile with, someone who you need to tell "I love you, no matter what", please take my advice and do it. Love like Jesus loved, without judgement or strings, without hurting, without harsh words. Isn't that what we are called to do, love one another as we have been loved?

Brenna Leigh Seeley
Born March 24, 1986
Died December 9, 2010

Thank you for letting me process, for allowing me to be vulnerable.

Blessing friends,
Cheryl

Lunch is served!!!!

2010-12-06T03:59:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's right, you guessed it, bush RAT for lunch. I know, you are all having some problems imagining me eating RAT, and yes, it was a little bit difficult for me. Kenzie however was able to eat it like she had not eaten in days and found it to be quite enjoyable!!!! What a weird kid I have!

William, our fearless leader, ready for his favorite meal.

Local restaurant...on the menu.....Bush Rat.

Owner of Bush Rat restaurant.

Who knows, perhaps in years to come Bush rat will become as popular as Sushi in the west!!!

Peter

2010-12-02T05:52:00.000-05:00

This is Peter. Peter lives in Lobone, Southern Sudan, he has no family, he lives in a leaky grass thatched house, sleeps without a mattress on a cold dirt floor, and up until our team arrived he had no blanket. Peter is in his fifties and was once a local teacher. We shared a compound with this delightful man for 5 weeks.

In 1983 Peter's life began to change. Another civil war began in Sudan, and many people were fleeing the country. Peter stayed, for what reason I do not know, what I do know is that because of this decision he endured much hardship. I don't know all of the details about the Sudanese Army, I don't know everything about the war, I could never do justice with my words to those who suffered through this time in Sudan, but for Peter, I will try.

Peter was captured and tortured by the army. His body was broken, his legs so badly burned with hot oil and chemicals that now he is unable to stand up straight due to the extensive muscle damage. When Peter walks one cannot ignore his crooked, hunched spine that I can only deduce, causes him much pain. Emotionally, Peter was also broken and due to this fact he has lost his mind, one of the unseen scars that he will forever bear. Peter met us the first night that we arrived, the others that greeted us laughed as we introduced ourselves to him, telling us that he was crazy. There was something about this man though, that instantly got both mine and Kenzies attention, we saw more than just a crazy man, we saw in him something else, something lovely. Yes, Peter talked nonsense most of the time, told us stories of his trips to South Africa, Canada, and the moon. He called me his sister and Kenzie his daughter, we seemed special to him and he became special to us.

A few nights after we arrived I was woken up to Peter talking and coughing, saying that he was sick, that he had no blanket, and about things that I could not make sense of. That night, I removed my sleeping bag to see how it felt without one, to feel what Peter felt and I was very cold and it was very difficult for me to sleep. No wonder this man was awake, no wonder he had such a terrible cough. In the morning, Kenzie gave her blanket to Peter, we had borrowed sleeping bags and so a blanket was not necessary and I had already given mine away to one of our team members. We were also able to give Peter some meds to help with his coughing, it did not take the cough away completely, but it helped him to sleep a little bit better, and the blanket kept him a little bit warmer.

During our stay,God was able to use us to show Peter love, to listen to him. He felt like he was a part of us, like he had a family. My hope now is that even though we are no longer there, that God has filled the void as only He can, because he loves Peter more than we could ever love him. I pray for Peter to be healed, I pray for provision and that God would put in place people to love him, would you join me?

Thank you friends, may God bless you,

Cheryl xo

Processing

2010-11-24T05:01:00.000-05:00

PHEW!!!!!

We have returned from outreach and boy do I have stories to tell you. I am still in the processing stage, trying to make sense of some of the things that I saw and experienced. God was faithful and I am so very thankful for this, I could never have gone through this experience if He was not walking beside me every step of the way. Kenzie amazed me as usual, her strength and love was inspiring to me and the rest of the team, I know this has changed her and she will be better for it.

I will begin by showing you where we were, while looking at the pictures imagine 2 girls from Canada living here for 5 weeks......

That's all for now. Rest assured that I am back in the blogging world and will post more frequently to give you all a taste of our time in Sudan and Gulu.
Blessings friends,
Cheryl

In Sudan

2010-10-06T05:46:00.000-04:00

In Sudan safe and sound. Internet access poor. I will have much to write once I return to Uganda. Please continue to visit.

Blessings,

Cheryl xoxox

Daily life

2010-08-30T10:36:00.000-04:00

It has been brought to my attention that I have written very little about daily life here, my apologies for this. I do want to give each of you reading this blog a picture of this place, I want to write so that you all feel as though you too are here with me. This is where a creative writing course would have been beneficial, but alas, I never took creative writing, so bear with me as I try my best. I will do this in multiple posts so as not to give you all a headache.

My day begins at 7am when the alarm wakes me from sweet slumber. Knowing that a cold basin bath awaits me, I take my time getting out of the single bed that I have called my own since June. Crawling out from under the mosquito net, I make my way to the "showers", with my basin in hand. I will save you the details of the bath, except to say that there is a lot of quiet yelps from my stall as I pour cold water on myself....eeeekkkkk!! Worship begins at 8am in the classroom along with a short Bible study, intercession time or chapel time when we students are asked to speak about something on our hearts. Class officially begins at 9am and runs until 1pm. We have learned a lot in class about the world, people, evangelism and missions. In the afternoon I remove my student cap and replace it with my teacher cap as this is the time when I do homeschooling. I am doing the best I can in this department, I am not trained as a teacher nor do I recall all that I learned in grade 8, which means that a lot of my time is spent quietly relearning science and math, not to let Kenzie in on the fact the her Mom doesn't know it all.....do they know this at 13????? I think she might have an idea! You have also noticed that my grammar and writing is not top quality, I write how I speak and often make up words, not good when teaching a grade 8 student how to write!!!! YIKES. Philippians 4:13 is a much quoted scripture these days. The evenings are usually spent watching a DVD in our room until the power goes out, which some nights is as early as 9pm.

In 2 weeks time we will leave for outreach, my team is heading to Sudan. In Sudan, we will have different ministries to work with, it appears that I will be able to put my nursing to good use as the need is great for basic care. We will be teaching and preaching, as well as building, digging or anything else that needs to be done where we are. I am looking forward to this stage of the journey with only a little trepidation. We will be gone from Arua for 3 months and I do not think that I will be able to access the computer, so please don't stop visiting after a long silence...I promise to be back, undoubtedly with much to say. Our days on outreach will look very different, and to be honest I am looking forward to the fact that I won't have to sit in a class all morning, this reeks havoc on my A.D.D..

I will tell you a little about Arua in the next post, before that though I might take some time to look up creative writing styles so as not to bore you all to tears!!!!

Blessing friends,
Cheryl xoxox

Never say never....

2010-08-26T14:10:00.001-04:00

I was chatting with a friend the other day on FB. My friend made a comment that has been grieving me ever since. We were talking about my experience living here in Africa, my friend said "I couldn't do it", then promptly corrected the statement by saying "actually I wouldn't do it". Now, I know that we are not all called to live in Africa or any other third world country for that matter, the comment grieves me because it suddenly struck me that so many Christians in this world share that same attitude. The attitude that if something is uncomfortable or the least bit difficult I am not willing to do it, even if God asks me to. I have no idea if this is where my friends head is at and this is in no way a judgement on this person, it just made me think about how many of us out there think this very same way. Not too long ago, I too was not willing to give up my comforts and still I must confess that I miss them very much, but I am at a point in my journey where I can say that anything is worth it if I am doing it for the one who died on the cross for me. If Jesus can do that and think of me, than giving up warm showers and toilets really doesn't seem like much.

Saying "yes" to God is not always easy, and believe me, sometimes what he asks is way beyond us, but I can say that I have already been richly blessed because I did finally say yes. What is God asking you to do, where does he want to send you? If He is speaking, listen and be ready. Remember too that God has a sense of humour and I would be a little nervous about saying things like "I wouldn't do it", "I couldn't do it", "never", "not me" etc.....Be ready to do the impossible.

On a side note, friend, if by chance you read this, know that you are very special and you have a tremendous gift, use your gift wisely and for the One who gave it to you. You have the potential to be a world changer, believe it and never say never. God will give you whatever you need in order to fulfill the call he has for you and you could never even imagine a better path than the one He has chosen. See yourself the way He sees you, it might surprize you.

Ode to.....

2010-07-26T14:36:00.000-04:00

Oh dear Starbucks, how I miss thee,

I cannot count the ways.

Oh dear bed, how I miss thee

I cannot count the ways.

Even you, dear bathroom,

I miss more than you could know.

I want so much to see you all,

my mind has been consumed.

I have not been in contact,

as I know you miss me too.

I promise to be back someday,

To hold you close once more.

So do not be discouraged,

And don't forget my face,

I'll be back before you know it,

expecting an embrace!!!

Ok, ok I know, pathetic......but cute right?????

Of course I miss all of you my friends and family more than these comforts. Although, I must tell you that on these rainy, gloomy days, these comforts of home would be so very nice. Is it not ironic that Uganda is one of the leading coffee producers.....and yet......I cannot find anything good around anywhere!!! Feel sad for only a moment, I will survive....hahahaha.

Miss you all.....

Cheryl xoxox

Rainstorms bring rainbows....

2010-07-24T14:06:00.000-04:00

I have been MIA for a while. I have had so much to say, and so little to say all at the same time. Some of you already know that I felt as though I was in a storm recently, a storm I thought would never end, a storm I felt so much guilt about going through because I had talked so much about this place, talked so much about my passion for people, I thought I had failed. The storm has ended, but that does not mean that I feel like I am now skipping through a field of roses singing blissful songs of praise, on the contrary, I am lonely and desire often to beam myself home.

I was reading a book that a dear lady gave to me before I left, a book that I must confess had not one ounce of attractabilty to me, but when you are in Africa and feel a bit bored because it is raining outside and there is nothing else to do, you read books that don`t attract you, believe me! Anyway, through this book, I realized that my emotions, lack of inspiration and irritability with this place is normal. In fact, this is a quote that a seasoned missionary to China gave to a group of young women on their way to the mission field; "Girls, when you get to China, all the scum of your nature will rise to the top". Strong words, but I must tell you, so very true. Many things about my nature, my character have come to the surface since I arrived, things that I don't like very much, but I know that in order to be changed by God, I must see and admit that there are areas in desperate need of change. God says that He is the potter and we are the clay for a reason. I am in the molding stage, and I have to tell you something else, IT HURTS!!!!

Yes, like a piece of precious pottery I am being formed into what God wants me to be, now this is exciting, despite the pain. God is revealing things to me that make my heart skip. For now though I am going to savour the time that these things are only between Him and I, sorry people, in due time, in due time. I know without a doubt that God called me here, that He has a plan in all of this and so I rest in that truth.

Now, onto something else. After reading "Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne (yes, I do a lot of reading!!!) I was inspired and would recommend that you read anything by this very gifted man, but one part jumped off of the page. Shane was writing about Matthew 25 and asked his readers this: (I have paraphrased)

In this passage did Jesus say "When I was hungry you wrote a check to the United Way, and they fed me; when I was naked you donated your clothes to salvation Army and they clothed me," NO, He said YOU fed me, YOU gave me something to drink, YOU invited me in, YOU clothed me, YOU, YOU, YOU.

I am not saying that giving money or donating your clothes are not good things, don't misconstrued this, I am asking however, that on top of that, what are YOU doing? God is looking for more than distant charity, something that our nation has become good at. Don't short change yourself by remaining a safe distance away. Get to know the poor and suffering of the world, look into their eyes and touch their hands for yourself. Mother Teresa used to say "come and see", when people asked about her work.

Claiborne also said this "The great tragedy is not that Christians don't care about the poor, but that rich Christians don't know the poor". Strong words....I wish that I had said them!!! Don't ask God to use your feet and your hands, if you don't really mean it, if you are not willing to go into the world. Do you want to be like Jesus? I do, that is why I am here, being molded, being shaped, even though it hurts. I am nothing extraordinary, but God can do extraordinary things through me if I choose to let Him. I want people to see Jesus in me, I want to be less so that He can be more.

One more quote to leave you with....

"In God's perfect workings, the instrument is forgotten. It is the blessing of Himself that is remembered"

Blessings,

Cheryl

A little of this, a little of that....

2010-07-03T03:12:00.014-04:00

Quick update.......

I am getting very good at basin baths and actually feel clean after having one!!!!!

I have eaten my first white ant. Yes you did read that correctly, an ANT! I was brave, I ate it with a smile on my face and to be honest, it was pretty good!

Peeing in a hole is still a bit of a learning curve, but there is a sit down toilet...praise GOD for little things, so my learning my take a while!!

No more rats in my room....again praise GOD!!
Kenzie and I have eaten Ethiopian food for the first time.....it was great! We were celebrating Amy and Paul's Adoption news, it made it all the more worth while.

Vikki is still an awesome support and encouragement to me. Just seeing you and knowing you are near Vikki is a big help to me.

Hospital ministry is going well. I will elaborate on this another time.

God is doing great things in my heart and I am getting closer to Him everyday.

All for now friends as my battery is dying.......love you all...

Cheryl xoxox

The Father Heart of God

2010-07-01T03:22:00.001-04:00

I been blessed with a wonderful earthly dad. My dad would do anything for me. In fact, right now as I am in Uganda, my dad has taken on the daunting task of managing all that I left behind. This is only one of the many things throughout my life that my dad has done for me. For this dad, I want to say thank you.

Having a dad like mine has made it easier for me to reach out for God and to understand His heart and love for me. Not all of you have had this experience, some of you have been abused, rejected, some of you don`t know your earthly dad`s. Rest in the truth that you are loved and that you have a loving Father God longing to have a relationship with you.

Jeremiah 3:19 says this.....I have always wanted to treat you as my children and give you the best land, the most beautiful on earth. I wanted you to call me "Father" and not turn from me.

If you are searching, if you have made mistakes, find comfort in knowing that we have all sinned, that none of us deserve to have God's love, but He is ready to give it to us if we ask. Please take some time to read the following story and while you read it, imagine the Lord, waiting for you, longing for you to come home.

Sawat's Story...A Story of Forgiveness

He had disgraced his family and dishonored his father’s name. He had come to Bangkok to escape the dullness of village life. He had found excitement, and while he prospered in his sordid lifestyle he had found popularity as well.When he first arrived, he had visited a hotel unlike he had ever seen before. In each of the hotel rooms were teenage girls. Some as young as 12 years old and younger. Some of the girls were laughing and some looked nervous and scared.
That visit began Sawat’s venture into Bangkok’s world of prostitution. It began innocently enough, but he was quickly caught like a small piece of wood in a raging river. It’s force was too powerful and swift for him, the current too strong.
Soon he was selling opium to customers and propositioning tourists in the hotels. He even went so low as to actually help buy and sell young girls, some of them only 9 and 10 years old. It was a nasty business, and he was one of the most important of the young “businessmen.”
Then the bottom dropped out of his world: He hit a string of bad luck. He was robbed, and while trying to climb back to the top, he was arrested. The word went out in the underworld that he was a police spy. He finally ended up living in a shanty by the city trash pile.
Sitting in his little shack, he thought about his family, especially his father, a simple Christian man from a small southern village near the Malaysian border. He remembered his dad’s parting words: “I am waiting for you.” He wondered whether his father would still be waiting for him after all that he had done to dishonor the family name. Would he be welcome in his home? Word of Sawat’s lifestyle had long ago filtered back to the village.
Finally he devised a plan.
“Dear Father,” he wrote, “I wanted to come home, but I don’t know if you will receive me after all I have done. I have sinned greatly, father. Please forgive me. On Saturday night I will be on the train that goes through our village. If you are still waiting for me, will you tie a piece of cloth on the poe tree in front of our house? (Signed ) Sawat.”
On that train ride he reflected on his life over the past few months and knew that his father had every right to deny him. As the train finally neared the village, he churned with anxiety. What would he do if there was no cloth on the po tree?
Sitting opposite him was a kind stranger who noticed how nervous his fellow passenger had become. Finally Sawat could stand the pressure no longer. He blurted out his story in a torrent of words. As they entered the village, Sawat said, “Oh, sir, I cannot bear to look. Can you watch for me? What if my father will not receive me back?”
Sawat buried his face between his knees. “Do you see it, sir? It’s the only house with a po tree.”
“Young man, your father did not hang just one piece of cloth. Look! He has covered the whole tree with cloth!” Sawat could hardly believe his eyes. The branches were laden with tiny white squares. In the front yard his old father jumped up and down, joyously waving a piece of white cloth, then ran in halting steps beside the train. When it stopped at the little station he threw his arms around his son, embracing him with tears of joy. “Ive been waiting for you!” he exclaimed.
(Floyd McClung - The Father Heart of God)

So, just as Sawat's father wanted his son to come home, just as he was ready to forgive him for whatever and wherever he had been, the same is true for Father God. Believe that he longs for you to know Him, believe that he wants to forgive you, believe that He loves you no matter what.

Blessings friends,

Cheryl

Happy CANADA Day

2010-07-01T02:06:00.000-04:00

Ding dong......

2010-06-17T08:53:00.000-04:00

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!

Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Wake up - you sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead.

This is the original version of this song......here is my version for your enjoyment......

Ding Dong! The rat is dead. Which old rat? The ugly rat!
Ding Dong! The ugly rat is dead.
Wake up - you sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the nasty, ugly, sleep stealing rat is dead!

I apologize if anyone is offended by my posting a picture of my dead rat, however, this is my blog and I will post what I want too!!! Also, I think it is important to give you the whole truth, which does include pictures of my world, pleasing and not so pleasing.

I will leave you a picture that makes my heart sing. One that is so much more pleasing than a dead rat!!!!

Blessings to you my friends,

Cheryl

Oh Rats!!!!!!

2010-06-15T09:08:00.001-04:00

Or maybe I should say..."oh, RAT!"

For the last few nights we have had a friendly visitor in our room. I say friendly because for the most part we have left eachother alone, but this is about to change. My friendliness has come to an end and I think maybe so will the life of this poor rat!! I am a lover of all things, but when these things steal my sleep, I become frustrated and tend to take my frustration out on others. This is something that I refuse to let happen.

Now, you might be asking, "What is it that Cheryl has in her room that is attracting this rat?". I can tell you this, all that I have in my room that is worth anything, is coffee. My friends will not be surprized that coffee is what I deem as most important :).... So, unless this rat has been to Starbucks and has since become a coffee connoisseur there is absolutely nothing that I know of that would be attracting this rat. Unless of course he has radar for white girls form Canada!!! Clearly he has no idea who he is dealing with.

Onto other things......

School has begun, and I am learning much already. This is a picture of the school, where we will spend everyday from now until the second week of September. I know that God has many things to reveal to me while I am here, for this I am excited. This truth makes everything that is uncomfortable worth it....even the rat!

Mackenzie is doing well. We have both had moments of frustration and times when we missed home very much, but all is well. God is here with us and so we will draw near to Him. Homeschooling is slowly starting, it is a definite learning curve for both of us. Mackenzie is distracted easily by the little ones who want to spend time with her, and she has no complaints about this....anything to get out of school right???!!! Here are some pictures of Kenzie and her following.......

More pics to come my friends. For now, please pray for us and know that we are also praying for all of you.

Blessings,

Cheryl :)

The good and the not so good....

2010-06-11T11:01:00.001-04:00

We have been in Uganda for just over one week. I would like to paint you a picture instead of using words, as I feel my words are too few at this stage. This week has flown by in some respects, but at the same time has crawled along at a snail’s pace. My head feels like it may explode and I am on the verge of asking God why He chose to send me here. I cannot imagine at this point becoming accustomed to the food, the toilets, and the lack of warm water for showering. I know that God will come through and give me the grace to handle even these small things, things that I have taken for granted my whole life. I know there is a real lesson in even these things; however, I really have to be honest with you ......I HATE PEEING IN A HOLE!!

After going over the culture shock stages with Vikki, I have realized that I've fast tracked it straight to stage 3, the toughest. The stage where everything seems horrible and one cannot imagine surviving. I wonder if I have reached this point so fast because I have been to Uganda before. Perhaps it's because God needs to ready me for something else and so we need to walk through this now. This I may never know, but I will do my best to find harmony and peace in whatever stage I find myself. I will do this knowing that this is not about me, that making any sacrifice, when doing it for Him is worth it...and trust me when I say that peeing in hole is a sacrifice for me.

Top 5 best things about YWAM Arua:

1. The staff here are so welcoming and friendly

2. Watching Mackenzie and her posse of wee ones playing games that she has already taught them

3. Boda Boda rides to town (I will share more about this another time)

4. Vikki's ongoing support and encouragement

5. Learning new things

Top 5 worst things about YWAM Arua:

1. Toilets (holes in ground)

2. Showers (brick boxes located on the other of the base that pour cold water on your head)

3. Food

4. Small living quarters

5. Missing family and friends

And so, as I go please journey with me, I promise not to bring up sensitive issues like peeing everytime I write. For now though when you sit comfortably on your porcelain toilet, think of me as I try to steady myself, aim correctly, hold my toilet paper and my room key so as not to drop them down the hole and last but not least trying very hard NOT to pee on my feet and ankles!!!!! hahaha.....sorry all.

Blessings,

Cheryl

Just to give you a glimpse...in case you were wondering!!!!!!!!

We have arrived

2010-06-03T21:13:00.001-04:00

Yes! After much planning, preparation and anxiety, we are here.

I hope to post a few pics from the first day soon. It was lovely to spend the day in Kampala with Mackenzie and Vikki Wright, YWAM Arua base leader and now my new friend.

The smells the sights are the same, as is the feeling in my heart that somehow I belong here. It is early still, and I am in the "honeymoon" stage for now, so don't be surprized if in the weeks ahead instead of "I belong here", I am saying "get me outta here"!!!! Vikki is going to go over some of the stages of culture shock for both Kenzie and I so that when those moments come, we can walk through them knowing that it is normal.

Later this morning we will leave on the bus for Arua. A 7 hour bus journey......eeeeekk!!

Well my friends, I shall sign off now as I must get a bit more sleep before we need to get up and ready to leave the guest house. Stay tuned for pictures.

Be blessed,

Beginning

2010-05-31T01:42:00.000-04:00

I am sitting here in the comforts of my parents home wondering, how do I get there from here....

Yes, by plane of course!!!!

But you know that isn't what I mean. How do I get there emotionally, mentally, spiritually? Am I ready for what's in store? The answer is simply this......I do not know how, and I do not know if I'm ready....but GOD. He has the answers, He will provide, He is going before me to prepare the way, and my trust has to be in Him and only Him. And so I go, bringing my inspiring daughter with me, to follow our Lord into the homes and arms of the broken, and we do so with a grateful heart knowing this is His plan for us.

Blessings friends.....I will be in touch soon,

Counting the Cost

2010-05-12T11:56:00.001-04:00

At the risk of sounding selfish, spoiled and arrogant I thought it very important that this post reveal my heart. In 20 days I will be leaving for Uganda, and as you can imagine my emotions are changing minute to minute. I have been asked more times than I can count if I'm excited, a seemingly easy question, but one that I am having a difficult time answering. If truth be told today, I am not excited. Perhaps I have finally begun to count the cost, perhaps I have begun to see more clearly the things and people that I will miss, perhaps I am a spoiled North American girl who would rather stay comfortable. I hesitate to say the words that I am not excited to those that ask the question because the inevitable response is one of confusion. My answer of course is that sometimes God asks us to do things that are not easy or comfortable. Please do not misconstrued my openness, I am not questioning God's hand here, I have no doubt in my mind or my heart that this is what He wants me to do. This is what He had planned for both Mackenzie and I. I know after some reflection and prayer that this stage is an important one. I am, as mentioned, counting the cost.

Proverbs 20:25
25 Don’t trap yourself by making a rash promise to God
and only later counting the cost.

I wonder, how often do we make a promise to our Lord and not count the cost, and does this grieve our Father in heaven?

What does it mean to count the cost? Do we hold onto the absurd idea that being a true follower of Christ is going to be easy, and for that reason rush into making a decision? In Luke we read the following:

The Cost of Being a Disciple

25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
28"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'
31"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

When you read those words, do you make the mistake that I have made time and time again? Do you simply think it was a different time then, that Jesus meant those words for those people and NOT for me, for us? These are the words of Jesus, and let me say this.....He meant them for ALL of us, then and NOW! Joyce Meyer says that true giving should be uncomfortable, it should be a sacrifice. Giving things that don't mean anything to you anymore is easy. Giving your time when there is nothing else to do, is easy. The times when you are asked to give something that you still love or give your time when you feel as though you have no more to give, that is true giving. This looks different for all of us, some of us may be asked to give it all up, some of us will be asked to open our homes to a precious child, some of us will be asked to lead a group, the list could go on and on. Whatever it is for you, be ready to be uncomfortable, it is then that we are truly blessed.

And so, I feel uncomfortable, and yet I feel God's hands and His blessings as I move forward. I need to remind myself that God's ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I need to remember that the life I had planned out for myself does not even compare to the one that God had planned for me. I am ready to take on His journey and make it mine. I am excited for that. Counting the cost, yes. Giving up some comforts, yes. Willingly following Him into the world knowing that no matter what, He is with us. Finally knowing that I am on the path towards my destiny, the one that HE chose for me.

Don't be afraid to count the cost and go. Be more afraid of missing out on the wondrous things He will do in and through you.

1 Corinthians 2:9 (New International Version)
9However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"

Blessings friends,

Did you say 36?????!!!!!

2010-04-26T15:23:00.000-04:00

Just a very quick update.....

As you can see on the side bar countdown, we are leaving in 36 days!!!! It seems so unreal.

I have rented my home, which was causing some unnecessary stress. Through the process though I have learned some very good lessons about faith and trust. Leave it with God, without taking it back, and He will bring the RIGHT people. Thank you Lord for teaching me to rely on you, and you alone.

We have had two successful fundraisers, with the help of my trusted La la's. Raising close to $4500!!! AMAZING! What an awesome confirmation from God that He has called us to this.

Mackenzie and I are both doing well. I am having a bit of a hard time with the thought of giving up the comforts of home if I may be completely honest. God is bigger than any of these comforts though, and He will provide peace. I am fearful at times too, but God has directed me to this passage:

Isaiah 41:9-10
I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, ‘You are my servant.’
For I have chosen you
and will not throw you away.
10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

I have made the mistake of thinking this journey is about me, in my fear and my struggle. God is revealing a bigger truth, this is about HIM and HIM alone. I feel privileged to be asked to give up what I have here in Ontario, Canada to be His hands and feet in this big world of His. To Him be the glory!

Now I must go and ready myself for some packing and organizing!!!

Blessings,

Everyone needs a few La La's

2010-04-12T15:49:00.002-04:00

You've heard of Ya Ya's.

I have La La's. A sisterhood. Friendships that focus not on age, personality, or backgrounds.

We don't have any weird ceremonies or chants, athough I may come up with a chant someday, might be fun!!! We have come together with one thing in common beyond all other things, a love for Jesus.

This post is to honour each one of them. These women have come alongside Kenzie and I in this mission journey in ways that I never thought women could do. These women are prayer warriors. These women are special. These women have been a gift from the Lord.....for such a time as this. I could not be doing what I am doing without them.

Thank you Jesus for these ladies.

And so, without further ado, I introduce you to my La La's...in no particular order....

Bonnie - You give me the courage to be me.
Connie - You are genuine and loving.
Gwen - You have a true servants heart, it is beautiful.
Jean - My BFFWAOP (best friends forever with an old person). You are so real and true.
Joan - Organizer extrodinaire. Your laughter is contagious and beautiful.
Karen - Your honesty and vulnerablity give me the strength to be so also.
Laura - You have taught me things I never knew I needed to know. You cheer me on.
Lynn - You are full of grace and joy.
Margaret - You are an inspiration to me in so many ways, you take the time to really see people.
Marilyn - You are dedicated to those around you.
Nikki - Having only knowing you a short time, your willingness to help has made my heart smile.
Patricia - You have a beautiful way about you, you have true integrity.
Patty - You are generous and have a heart of gold.
Sharon - You are compassionate and full of mercy.
Sherri - You are a prayer warrior. Your spirit makes me want to sing.
Shirley - You have a quiet loving way about you.
Sue - Your words speak directly to my heart.
Cecile - You have no judgement in you, you see people for who they are and love them no matter what.

In all of you ladies, I see Jesus; You have all inspired me to be strong and courageous; You are all my warriors, encircling me, ready to do battle for Kenzie and I. You have all shown great love,compassion and support. May you all be abundantly blessed because of what you have done for Kenzie and I. Thank you.

Again I say.....we all need a few La La's around us!!!!

Blessings,

The Call

2010-03-16T14:41:00.000-04:00

Throughout my life I have heard about people being "called" to this or that, not really understanding what that meant. I suppose when I was really little I imagined this big cloud appearing to these people and a loud booming voice from the cloud saying "I want you to be a doctor" or "I want you to move into the jungle". Funny when I think of it now. As I got older I have to admit I was pretty indifferent about the called of my church congregation, that was good for them, but for me, nope, God was not calling me to do anything special.

As I reflect now on the indifference I felt, I realize it was the enemy speaking to me. Yes, satan does has a booming voice sometimes. I felt that I was not good enough to be called, or strong enough, or smart enough, basically I wasn't anything enough. I was focused so much on the me and not the HIM. The enemy grabbed a hold of that telling me that God would never use a girl like me, I was not like the other girls in my church, I was far from perfect and God only uses the close to perfect if not the absolute perfect to do anything for Him. In light of these so called truths I was hearing I walked away. I didn't want to be a hypocrite and used that as the perfect excuse not to go to church or to continue hanging out with my friends from church. I didn't turn my back on God, I used that aspect in times of sadness or trouble, times when I didn't study much for an exam and needed God to intervene. I was nothing special. I had nothing special to offer. I made choices that reflected this self dialogue (with the help of some well trained demons).

I made choices to drink alcohol, to have inappropriate relationships, conversations with friends had very little to do with God if anything to do with Him at all. I kept that piece of my heart hidden. I was not a wild child or anything, don't get me wrong, but I wanted to enjoy my life, I wanted to have fun and believed the lies I was hearing that walking with God wouldn't give me that. I stand (actually I am sitting, but in my heart I am standing before all of you) before you today to say walking with God, in the will of God is the most exciting place I have been. He is bringing me to things that I could never have imagined for myself. He is showing me how big He is, He is showing me that surrendering is courageous, that lifting my hands to Him and saying "do what you will" is truly an adventure. He is showing me that it is NOT about me, it is about HIM and He will make me into a world changer, something I wanted to be all my life but never would have been if it were not for Him.

I write to encourage all of us, we are all called to be world changers. So, let's change the world people, one person at a time.

Blessings,

Top 100....WOW!!!!

2010-03-04T15:10:00.000-05:00

My blog has been listed as one of the top 100 Christian Women's Blogs in 2009 at Internet cafe. Ten different catagories, ten blogs listed in each......mine is in the "All new flavour blog" catagory......cool!!!

Thank you to all who nominated me. This has given me the encouragement to continue on this blogging journey and to make sure that the ideas in my head blossom into posts. Very cool......thanks again.

Blessings,

It is all about the LOVE

2010-02-25T21:01:00.000-05:00

According to recent statistics there are 2.1 billion Christians in this world. Now, I realize that this number encompasses a lot of different ideas, but for the sake of this post, let's assume that this number represents true Jesus followers. The approximate population of the world, as of September 3, 2009, is 6.7 billion. This means that there are 4.6 billion people who do not know Jesus.

Jesus. This name causes some people in my world to cringe. This name said out loud means that I must be a religious freak, a holy roller, a bible thumper. I'm ok with that. I'm ok with it, because I know that my relationship with Jesus has very little to do with any of these terms.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it truly means to be a Jesus follower.

Ghandi once said
“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

If I may simplify what it means to me to be a Jesus follower then, it means, striving to be Christ like.

The Jesus I know, is all about LOVE.

John 3:16-17 says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

John 13:35 says: "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

God sent His son, Jesus, because He LOVES us.
Jesus LOVES us so much that He died on the cross to save us.
If I want to be like Jesus, then I must LOVE all people.

Does this mean that I think I am perfect? Does it mean that I am better than everyone else? Does it mean that I have the right to judge people? No, No, and No.

If you do not know Jesus, please do not reject Him because of us christians. We fail miserably at this most days, we struggle and sin daily, which is why we need a Saviour. I long for others to know the Jesus that I know.

I will not be ashamed of my faith. I will not be ashamed to use the name of Jesus in daily conversation. I will not be ashamed to give all the glory to God if something awesome happens in my life, whether or not the person I say it to looks at me with an unbelieving eye and a smirk. I will walk in faith and love, striving to be like Jesus, hoping that I will have the priviledge to lead someone to this amazing, loving, Father God that I serve.

To truly know Jesus is to know grace, mercy and love.

Blessings,

Leaving on a jet plane....

2010-02-23T10:07:00.000-05:00

It is real, so real.......we are leaving......June 1st..........

I have not been updating often as the things on my "to do" list are all very boring in terms of writing about them.....I mean how in the world could I make talking to the travel agent for over an hour exciting to read???? Or booking vaccination times for Kenzie.....much to her absolute dismay. Not very exciting stuff really.

The exciting thing is that GOD is coming through in every situation. God has answered prayers in bigger and better ways than I could have imagined, He has placed Mackenzie and I on the hearts of people just when we needed it. I wonder sometimes, why am I always so amazed by His awesomeness.....perhaps I am a slow learner.....perhaps it is exactly how God wants us to feel.

I would love to hear some of your God stories, the times when you felt like the situation was too big and He came through bigger and better.

Blessings my friends,

Out of my comfort zone

2010-02-19T15:14:00.000-05:00

I have quickly realized on this missions journey that stepping out of my comfort zone is really challenging.

Asking for donations is tough, but a step of faith.

I have added a paypal gadget to the sidebar of my blog and if you have been led to make a donation to our journey we would both very much appreciate it.

More importantly though, if you would all continue to lift us up in prayer. We have some tough challenges ahead, before we leave and of course during our time away. A lot of questions are yet to be answered, but thankfully we serve a GIANT Father GOD, who has all of the answers.

Bless you friends.

A little of this and that

2010-02-05T13:32:00.000-05:00

I wanted to give you an update.........

Lost - 6 pounds.....YAY
Devotions with Kenzie - We haven't had devotions per se, however, we have been spending time praying and talking a lot about what God desires our lives to look like......does that count?
Loving people - I am a loving person, was prior to the resolution, loving more, loving like Jesus is a work in progress.

Not bad, right????

Now for the BIG news..........

It is officially official.......I have been accepted into the CDTS course with YWAM. Kenzie and I will be leaving the comforts of home here in Canada the last week of May or the first week of June. The reality of this has hit me in a big way. The questions/comments from friends and family have flooded back into my brain, mostly the negative ones of course. I am however, standing against the negativity because for the first time in my 35 years I know without any reservation that this is God's will for my daughter and I. I understand the worry that my parents have. I get the comments like "are you crazy?" from some of my non-christian friends, somehow though I find it very hard to understand it from the Jesus followers in my life. Now, don't get me wrong, most of the people I surround myself with have been nothing but supportive and positive, for that I am grateful. But, for those of you who are not willing to be postive and supportive I ask that you keep your comments to yourself. We are called to live in radical obedience, we are called to do things that take us out of our comfort zones, we are called to do for the least of these, we are called to LOVE BIG and LOVE WELL. I have a God given passion for social change and justice, I have a God given desire to live amongst the least of these, I have a desire to be like JESUS. Kenzie was given to me as gift from God almost 13 years ago now, and guess what....HE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, and so, He gave her a heart like her Mom. He has prepared her for this journey also. So, for those of you who question my responsibility as a parent, I say, God is her great big FATHER GOD and He loves her with a giant Father Heart. I will not question what He wants for us or where He wants to send us, and neither should any of you, because we have been called to have faith in Him.

Please continue to pray for us as we journey through the planning and preparing stages of this, and that our hearts would be readied for this amazing adventure. Pray also that we would be protected, because as you all know, when we say "yes" to God, there is a serpent ready to do whatever he can to put a wrench in the plans.

Blessings my friends,

2010-01-20T10:05:00.000-05:00

Today I am sending my documents to YWAM Arua Uganda. Please pray that God would go before these papers, that His mighty hands would be upon them, that His words would fly off the page and into the minds and hearts of those reading them.

Thank you friends for taking this journey with me in prayer.

Blessings,

A few of my favorite things....

2010-01-12T11:20:00.002-05:00

Ate healthy most of the week.....check
Worked out at the gym...check
Devotion with Kenzie.....once.....half a check

So, I think I am on my way. Not perfect, but who is really?

I thought that today I would post some of my favorite things about Mackenzie, my daughter. Mackenzie is 12.....need I say more???? So, as I have mentioned, there are times recently when our interaction has been strained. I am raising Kenzie totally on my own, she does not know her earthly dad, so this, of course adds to the stress of childrearing I suppose. However, we have done a great job just the two of us. I love her with all my heart, she is the light in the dark and the wind in my sails.....even when she is being difficult.

So.......

Here are a few of my favorite things.....about Mackenzie.....(in no particular order)

1. She makes me laugh EVERYDAY. Her sense of humour amazes me sometimes.
2. Mackenzie has a heart of gold, she sees people for who they are not what they wear or what they look like.
3. She can laugh at herself.
4. She is a bit of a daredevil.......you name it, she'll try it, if it involves a bit of risk even better! A lot like her Mom I think. This could turn out in time to be one of my least favorite things, but for now, I love it.
5. Mackenzie readily says that she is sorry if she needs to be, and ALWAYS tells me that she loves me.
6. She loves her family.
7. She is not afraid to fail.
8. She is not afraid to try something new.
9. Mackenzie is wonderful with children, in my opinion she has a gift. One of the best babysitters EVER.
10. She likes to make people feel special and important, something I wish that I was better at.

This list could go on and on. It has been therapeutic to write these things down. Tonight, if an argument arises, I will think about this list and hopefully smile, realizing that my little girl is going through a big change in her life and that she is awesome and beautiful inside and out.

Blessings,

2010-01-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

I write today with a request. I ask for prayer. As you know my heart is on the mission field and I have been trying to find out where I fit. I believe that I have found that place. YWAM, Northern Uganda. Today I recieved the application form and have the date......JUNE!!!!! We serve a giant GOD, a good God, a God that can make anything happen, and so I step out in faith asking for His provision.

Here are a few practicle prayer requests:
1. I need to have the application form, references,and medical form in ASAP. Please pray that there would be no delay.
2. Finances. Pray that I would recieve the necessary sponsorship.
3. My home. I would like to rent out my home, please pray that God would send the right person for this.
4. Kenzie. Please pray that her heart would be softened and readied, pray that schooling for her would all work out.
5. Pray that the enemy would be squashed, that his attempts at making this difficult would not work.

As time goes by I will continue to post prayer requests and keep you all up to date.

I am so excited and thrilled that God has chosen us for this.

Thank you friends.

Be blessed,

My heart is the size of what??????

2010-01-06T15:09:00.000-05:00

My heart grew two sizes today.........atleast it felt that way.....

One of my resolutions as some of you know from reading my last post was to love more, to love better. Today, before I placed my feet on the floor I asked God to show me how, I asked Him to give me His eyes, His heart. He is faithful.

On my way back to work after lunch, I drove the way my car wanted to go...... Starbucks.....ok, ok, I wanted to go too. Anyway, as I drove down the main street I began to SEE people, I began praying for them, asking God to meet any need they may have, to bless them today. As I was talking to God, I suddenly felt blessed, not only because I was praying for others but because it struck me that perhaps as I walked down that same street in the past someone may have prayed for me. It really did feel like my heart grew 2 sizes, I was truly overwhelmed.

The radio was playing this song as all of this was going on.....I wanted to share it.

Be blessed today friends.

Happy 2010.......

2010-01-05T11:10:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone.

I have been thinking about the whole new years resolution thing, and after spending some time reading blogs on the subject I began to realize that I have never been one to make resolutions. Why? Because of a lie......." You will fail, so why try????" Whispered in my ear by the master of lies himself.

This year I stand against that lie.............I am making some resolutions.

I will begin with the old faithful for most of us ladies.....yes, you guessed it, I am going to lose some weight. I already eat healthy, minus the last two weeks.....and I exercise regularily, so I will kick this up a notch believing that I CAN DO IT, I WILL NOT FAIL!

Wow......putting in down in writing sure does make me commit a little more......I will keep you posted on my progress.

OK......now lets get really serious......

My second resolution is to commit to doing regular devotions with Mackenzie. We both do our own, but we really need to be doing this together. I truly admire anyone who has a handle on this one. Truly the fact is that my wonderful, lovely, gentle, gifted, amazing....PRE TEEN and I butt heads more than I would like to admit, so this has been a bit of a struggle, depending on hormone levels and such. Weird, right? That time spent with God is a struggle? Again....LIES, LIES, LIES. WE CAN DO IT, WE WILL NOT FAIL. I will keep you posted on this also, and please feel free to hold me accountable.....

My third and last one is a biggy.............

John 13:35 (New International Version)

35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

I need to love more. I need to show love more. I need to stop getting frustrated with people, and just love love love. I have been finding this difficult the last few weeks. I want others to see Jesus in me, I want to see people the way that He does, I want to love like He loves all of us. I CAN DO IT, I WILL NOT FAIL.

Blessings friends,

You may be the only Bible some people read....

2009-12-30T14:05:00.000-05:00

That statement spoke directly to my heart........that I may be the only Bible someone reads.......Wow! So true.

I wish that I could say that I think of this daily and always do my best at showing those around me Jesus in my actions and my words, however, that would be a lie. We all fall short in this department, don't we?

My desire is to be transformed into a person who exemplifies the word of God, the character of Jesus, the love of our Father.

As we enter into a new year, a clean beginning, it is my prayer that I will be the example that I have been called to be. That when I say I want to be the Lords hands and feet that I will mean that and follow through. That I will serve with a grateful heart, knowing that in those moments God can shine.

Father,
I say "yes" to you, use me in whatever way you choose. May your words come from my mouth, may your hands work through mine to touch the hearts of those around me. Transform me. Amen.

Blessings,

Merry Christmas......

2009-12-24T09:21:00.000-05:00

Or........Kuwa na Krismasi njema....or....Heriza Krismas ( Swahili )

I am praying that each of you have a blessed and merry CHRISTmas.

Blessings,

I can finally talk about it...

2009-12-18T14:18:00.000-05:00

I am hurt. I am angry. I am disappointed.

Someone I love, someone I thought loved me, has hurt me recently. I knew that when I said "yes" to God about going to the mission field there would be those people who called me crazy, people who would join forces with the "naysayer" gang, people who would wonder, "what in the world is she thinking". Knowing this, I donned my strongest suit of armour, I took up my shield and held tight to my sword, however, this person was able to get passed the armour, sheild and sword to hurt my heart. This person is my Grandmother.

I will save you the details and the harsh words.

What do we do when "godly" women strike us down with words that only come from the enemy himself? We pray, we love, we forgive.

I have not yet done all of these things. I have prayed for God to work in my heart, to remove the anger that I feel, I have prayed that He remind me that judgement comes from Him only, I have prayed that His love for her come through me. Honestly I am still waiting for this to happen, but I know that He is faithful. I have not forgiven, nor do I feel much love in my heart for her right now. I am hurt.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" If only that were true.

The good news is, I am feeling God's hand in this planning more and more. I feel His direction coming together, I feel His presence stronger and stronger everyday. I know that Africa is where He wants me to be. I have a lot of friends lifting me in prayer daily, including some of you.......thank you....I feel those prayers. I especially want to give a shout out to Amy from filledwithpraise.blogspot.com. Amy, thank you for writing about my daughter and I, thank you for your prayers, thank you for helping me figure out this blogging stuff, you have no idea what a blessing you have been.

I know that God is working in me, He is changing my heart, He will make all things new.

Abundant blessings,

Why????

2009-12-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

I am not a writer, I am not computer saavy, nor do I claim to have profound thoughts running through my head on a daily basis. To be honest, some days I feel like just getting through the day without any type of thinking would be a good thing. I jest!!!! Seriously though, I have sat and wondered why God would have wanted me to start a blog. Another truth would be that I didn't even know what a blog was until last year!!!!! My history of being a technical wizard and computer genius leaves much to be desired, I can assure you. So, why me? I read blogs written by amazing women, women who have this ability to put words to "paper", women who can take one thought and make into an interesting and inspiring read. I am learning so much from all of you. All of the words that I read have impacted me in some way, and I have made friends, women that I pray for, women that I care about, this is why God directed me here.

I love this "blogging" world. I love that I excitedly open my computer every morning to share my coffee with all of you. I know that God has messages for me here. I thank you all, for your words, your inspiration, your love, your prayers. You are all my friends, sisters in Christ. Be blessed sisters. I hope and pray that I too will be able to inspire all of you with my thoughts and my words.

Blessings,

Listening....

2009-12-09T10:18:00.004-05:00

1 Kings 3:9 "Here's what I want: Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well, discerning the difference between good and evil. For who on their own is capable of leading your glorious people?"

I love God with all of my heart, there is no doubt about that. Sometimes though, I don't listen so well. I go about my day, too busy, too distracted, I listen to others, co-workers, my daughter, my friends, I respond openly to requests made of me, I even do it with a grateful heart.....most of the time.....BUT..... I don't listen to the one I should be listening to all the time. Don't get me wrong, there are days when the message is loud and clear and I feel so connected to God. The days when the message is more gentle, more quiet, I have to admit, my listening skills leave much to be desired. So, today, tomorrow....etc....I am asking Him to give me a GOD listening heart so that I can do HIS work, so that I too can discern the difference between good and evil. How is your heart today? Is it listening?

Blessings,

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T11:31:00.002-05:00

Just saying "Happy Thanksgiving" to all of my new, wonderful friends from the USA. Enjoy your day.

Is anybody there?

2009-11-13T09:25:00.003-05:00

I am not too sure as to whether or not anyone bothers to come to this blog for a visit anymore........

I have not written anything in a long time because I realized that I needed only to write the things that God placed on my heart to write. I was trying to come up with things on my own, and that was NOT working. I tried to do the Bible study, that didn't work either....because I wasn't making it about the Lord, I was making it about me and struggling because I was putting pressure on myself.....note to self.....chill out.

On that note.....I'm back. Back, knowing that I will not put pressure on myself to write, knowing that God can use my little blog if I allow Him to.

I am excited to announce that I am stepping out of my boat, keeping my eyes on Jesus, and trusting that He will use me. My daughter and I will be moving to Uganda for a year to work along side a missionary there. We are excited for the journey and a little nervous.....ok....a lot nervous. Ok, ok...scared, down right scared. However, I am trusting and have no doubt that this is God's will for our lives right now. The fear is normal I suppose.

I have to admit, it is so nice to hear the kind words and accolades from friends and family, and it would be very easy to feel pride, to say to myself, "wow, you are so brave and so cool, and so wonderful for doing this"....however, this is not about me or Mackenzie, it is about God. This is His show, He is the rock star, the only one who deserves any glory. If it were not for Him, for His strength I would be very happy to remain where I am in my comfortable life. Doing my thing, drinking Starbucks with my friends, watching T.V programs, browsing the Internet at my leisure, the list could go on. The truth is that this mission trip is totally BEYOND both Mackenzie and I.

God is calling me to Uganda, where is He calling you? What is He calling you to do? We all have passions, I know we all experience the gentle nudging sometimes, the urge to do something beyond us. Perhaps your call is to volunteer at a soup kitchen, maybe your call is to sponsor a child from World Vision and commit to keeping in contact with that child. Maybe your call is to assist a friend in need, to make a family dinner one a week. God calls all of us, heed the call, step out of your comfort zone and do something in His name, for His glory. If we as Christians stepped out to do these extraordinary things that God has called us to do, imagine what the world could look like. We have His power, let's claim that and do great things.

Be blessed.

One Campaign

2009-10-16T12:59:00.001-04:00

Let's stand together today and believe that we can make a difference.

???

2009-10-15T14:32:00.004-04:00

I seem to have lost my voice. The ideas are there, the words are not. I am sitting with "What happens when women say yes to God" open in front of me, I am sitting with scattered thoughts running through my mind, I am sitting with no insight, no words.

The 5th chapter is titled: "What keeps us from saying yes to God"

So, that is my question to you, what is it that keeps you from saying yes? What is it that makes you chose worry over worship?

Let us all have the courage to be different, to stand up for Christ, to say yes to His plan, to give up the worry for worship, to trust Him, to know that we can let go, to ignore the naysayers and focus only on our saviour.

Blessings,

2009-10-08T15:29:00.004-04:00

" The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you."

Let God use you

2009-10-05T14:31:00.003-04:00

I have realized recently that I have allowed myself to become distracted. I fill up my days with this and that, not really focused on one thing in particular, just things that need to be done, or things that I have perceived as necessary. I have clouded the very voice that I must seek out daily, hourly, minute by minute. In doing this I have not been able to hear what God is calling me to do, I am not talking only about the big things either, but those little God moments where He whispers into your ear...."Cheryl, go and put your hand on that person, ask them how their day is, show my love to them". I know we are all guilty of this from time to time, but what an adventure it would be if we raised our hands to the heavens saying "Today is yours Lord, use me in anyway you see fit".

Lysa reminds us in this chapter to be aware of the fact that satan will do everything he can to get us to say no to the Lord. Satan will tempt us with worldly things, and let's be honest, some of those things are really hard to say no to. John said this:

1 John 2:15-16 (New International Version)

Do Not Love the World
15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.

Not only do we have to be aware of satan's schemes, we also have to trust our Lord and Savior, NO MATTER WHAT. We have to love our Savior NO MATTER WHAT. Doing what God calls us to do doesn't mean a life full of beautiful fields full of daisies everyday. We must say whatever it is Lord that you are calling me to do, wherever you are calling me to be, use me. Lysa says "God is using all of your experiences, both good and bad, to develop your character to match your calling"

What is God calling you to do today?
Is God pressing upon your heart something, someone or somewhere?
Are you asking God to use you everyday?
Are you excited for the adventure, the journey?

Lysa says "you never know how God will use you, until you let Him"

My challenge to you is this, before stepping foot out of your bed in the morning for the next month, ask God to use you and to reveal how he has done that, write down your experiences, be prepared to be stretched. Pray for His strength and His words to fill you. After one month take some time to go over what has happened and praise Him for all He did through you because you let him. I know that after this we will be excited everyday to do this, it will become a habit in our lives. Let's see what God can do. Let's not get distracted by the world.

Father,

May your strength consume us, may we feel your presence in all situations. Lord help us to want to be used by you, for you did not give us a spirit of fear. Thank you for all that you will reveal to us as we lift our hands to you everyday. Amen.

Blessings,

Opps....

2009-09-30T16:03:00.001-04:00

Time has gotten away from me a bit, so if you are following the "What Happens" study, I will resume next Monday. Thanks

To cast or not to cast.......

2009-09-23T13:31:00.004-04:00

1 Peter 5:7 (New International Version)

7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I had a brief conversation about this verse with a friend of mine the other day, it has stuck with me and I wanted to share.

What exactly does it mean "to cast"? Well here are some definitions that I found on Dictionary.com:

1) To throw or hurl
2) To throw off or away
3) To part with; lose
4) To shed or drop
5) To reject or discard

I have some decisions to make about my life right now, these decisions are ones that affect not only me, but my daughter, my parents, my brothers, my friends. Needless to say, when decisions of this magnitude come up in our lives they cause us anxiety and stress. So I have been pondering this verse. The act of casting my anxiety on Him, means to get rid of it, to release it, to throw it out of my hands and towards my Heavenly Father. To throw something,or to hurl something, disables our ability to hold onto it, when we throw a baseball, it would be impossible for us to snatch it back. This it what God wants us to do, He loves us more than we could even imagine, so why do we hesitate to give Him everything. I am going to begin casting my anxieties on Him more and more.

Father,

Thank you for your promises. Thank you for loving us enough to care about the big things and the small things. I pray for your strength to come upon me, give me the ability to let go completely. Amen

Blessings,

Radical Obedience

2009-09-21T14:01:00.005-04:00

When you sit in God's presence do you ask Him to use you? Are you ready to be used? If you don't ask Him to use you, is it because you are afraid of what He may ask you to do, or that He won't use you at all? Lysa began chapter 3 talking about a conference that she attended, the speaker of the conference challenged the audience to ask God to use them in extraordinary ways for His kingdom. Thus began a process, a process of becoming radically obedient. Lysa wanted this, she sought God for direction, she asked Him to use her, and to show her what He required of her.

This whole concept of becoming radically obedient is new to me. I think somewhere tucked in the depths of my heart I didn't think I needed to worry about this type of obedience because God was NOT going to ask me to do anything difficult or out of my comfort zone......you can stop laughing now!!!!! How juvenile was my thinking. I thought that I was so very ordinary that the Lord would require very little of me, I was not one versed in biblical theology, so why in the world would He call me to do something radical?! I have never doubted that God is an awesome God, that He can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING (anything and everything for other people, just not me). Even when I was not living my life according to His will, I knew that He was a giant God. I did however, doubt myself. I guess if I am being honest I also had little faith that God loved me enough to do His work, that He loved me enough to take care of me if I stepped outside of the boat. I was someone who stumbled often, I was someone who lied, someone who had inappropriate relationships, someone who cheated, used bad language in most of my daily conversations, someone who didn't like going to church, reading my bible etc....the list would be too long. Quite a dichotomy of thoughts really. The beauty is that God does want to use us, He knows our weaknesses, and loves us despite them.

I know now,that the Lord will call me to radical obedience, He will ask me to step outside my comfort zone, and He DOES love me enough to take care of me and will work out the details for me. Lysa says "God is not interested in half our heart, He wants it all"Are you willing to lift your hands to the heavens and release your heart to Him? This is a journey. God does not expect us to be perfect at it right away, He knows that we will stumble and that there are things that we may hang on to tighter than other things. We need to be willing to go the distance, to ask Him to give us the strengh and the courage for this radical obedience. Live everyday expecting to see Him, expecting to hear from Him, expecting to be asked to do something for His kingdom. The more we allow God to use us the more peace we will find in our lives.

<strong>John 15:10 (The Message)

9-10"I've loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you'll remain intimately at home in my love. That's what I've done—kept my Father's commands and made myself at home in his love.

Say yes to God today, tomorrow, and beyond. Say yes to God in whatever the request. Say yes to God no matter what, knowing that He will direct your steps. Release your grasp on the things you hold tight, offer these things to our Lord. The more we say yes, the more God can pour out His blessings on our lives.

Questions:

1.What is something that you are holding onto today?

2.What is something God has asked of you recently? Did you say yes?

Read Genesis chapters 6-9. There was nothing about what Noah did that was practical or common, what he did was radically obedient. He listened and did what the Father asked of him sacrificing his reputation giving up things that he held onto. Because he said "yes", God blessed him.

Father,

Give us the courage and strenth to be radically obedient no matter what you ask of us. Amen.

Blessings,

I will go.....

2009-09-16T17:29:00.002-04:00

My hearts cry.......I will go, Lord send me.

Blessings,

Hearing His voice

2009-09-14T16:30:00.005-04:00

I am in awe that the God of this universe, the maker of everything, the Almighty, wants to talk to me EVERYDAY!! He wants to talk to all of us everyday. Lysa tells us that God wants us to live in expectation of hearing from Him. So, how do we discern God's voice from the voices of others, how can we know for sure that it is God speaking to us?

Lysa gives us 5 key questions to ask ourselves:

1. Does what I am hearing line up with scripture?

2. Is it consistent with God's character?

3. Is it being confirmed through other messages I'm hearing at church or studying in my quiet time?

4. Is it beyond me?

5. Would it please God?

Asking these questions can help in recognizing God's voice in your life.

1. Does it line up with Scripture?

Psalm 119:9 (The Message)

9-16 How can a young person live a clean life?
By carefully reading the map of your Word.
I'm single-minded in pursuit of you;
don't let me miss the road signs you've posted.
I've banked your promises in the vault of my heart
so I won't sin myself bankrupt.
Be blessed, God;
train me in your ways of wise living.
I'll transfer to my lips
all the counsel that comes from your mouth;
I delight far more in what you tell me about living
than in gathering a pile of riches.
I ponder every morsel of wisdom from you,
I attentively watch how you've done it.
I relish everything you've told me of life,
I won't forget a word of it.

We need to know the word, we need to study the word, we need to memorize the word. God would never tell us something that contradicts His words. I never realized when I was a child the importance of memory verses and to be honest never took it seriously. I have only just recently realized this truth, now I have a small notebook that I carry around with me, in this book are verses for everyday. I would like to say that I have done a good job at memorizing them, the truth is that I have not, but I am working on it. Get into the word everyday.

2. Is it consistent with God's character?

Galatians 5:22 (New International Version)

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

God would never tell us to do something that went against who He is.

3. Is what I am hearing being confirmed through other messages?

I don't know about you, but when God wants to tell me something, I cannot run from it. The message is reiterated at every turn. If you spend time with the Lord, if you have a personal relationship with Him, you know all about this. I think we have all had this happen in our lives. If you have something that is being reiterated, don't ignore it, open yourself up to it.

4. Is it beyond me?

If what you are hearing is beyond you, then chances are God is speaking to you, asking you to do something for Him, for His glory. Moses was called to do something beyond himself, he was scattered, he "was slow to speech", God asked him to do something totally beyond himself.

5. Would it please God?

This is an important question. Lysa says that if what you are doing pleases God, then even if it wasn't His voice that you heard, you still please Him and we should always be in pursuit of everything pleasing to Him.

God wants to speak to us, He wants us to hear Him. The more we practice hearing from Him and the more we are expectant of this, the easier it will be to discern His voice.

Take a moment to think about how you discern God's voice in your life. When have you tried to run from the message He has been speaking to your heart? Think of a time when you said yes to Him, think of a time when you said no. Is there something that God is trying to tell you today? Are you listening? Are you ready?

Lord,

Thank you for your word. Father I pray that you guide our thoughts, open up our hearts to recognize your voice. I pray that we would all long to do what you ask of us, giving you all the glory. Amen

Blessings,

Say Yes!

2009-09-06T18:30:00.012-04:00

This is the first week of the "What happens when women say yes to God" bible study. My hope is that this study will open our eyes to what the Lord is telling us to do, and to help us find the courage to do what He asks of us everyday.

What I would like you to do first is to sit quietly, allow God to be present with you, open you heart and your mind to Him. Ask Him to show you what He wants you to learn today.

Lysa begins this chapter writing about a time on a plane, a time when she was tired and wanted nothing more then to close her eyes and sleep for a while. God had other plans. I will skip straight to the detail most important, she was asked by God to give a total stranger her Bible. Just pause for a second and imagine yourself in this situation, a total stranger sits next to you on a plane, engages you in a conversation that you would much rather avoid altogether, you end up talking to this stranger about a topic your passionate about, God, so that makes up for it, and then out of nowhere, God tells you to give this man your Bible, a Bible that you cherish, a Bible that you have written in, highlighted, cried over, smiled over, prayed with......etc...

I was convicted when I read this. I wondered, could I give someone my Bible? Would I even be open to a conversation or would my attitude get in the way? The question is, do we open up and allow God to use us in those moments that He has paused for someone else? Are we listening to the gentle whispers and nudges the way that Lysa was that day? I know how she felt, so exhausted that the last thing on your list of things to do would be to chat with the person sitting next to you. How many times do we say "no" to God when He wants to use us? How many times throughout our busy days do we pause to say, Lord, I am here and a willing servant, use me in whatever way you can today. Do we allow Jesus to be seen in our actions?

Saying "yes" to God won't always be easy. Sometimes the things He will ask us to do will take us completely out of our comfort zone, are you ready?

Questions:

1. Think of some people in the Bible who said yes to God.

Read Genesis 22:1-19

2. Has God asked you to do something that was difficult? Did you say yes, or did you say no?

3. How would your life be changed if you said yes every morning before getting out of bed?

I have some work to do, this I know for sure. I have to be ready to say yes to God even before I know what it is He will ask of me. Scary. "God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called". I need to remind myself that "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13

Please write down any ways that this chapter spoke to you. I would love to hear from you. Write down some of the inspirational people from the Bible and from your everyday life who have said yes to Him. Allow the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart and lets become the "yes" women that we need to be.

Father,

Thank you for Lysa, thanks you for using her and for giving her the strength and courage to share with us what You have done in and through her. Open our eyes and our ears to hear you. Remind of us of your strength, reveal yourself to us. Forgive me for saying no when I should have said yes. Amen

Blessings,

2009-09-04T09:28:00.003-04:00

Philippians 1:9-11 (The Message)

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.

Blessings,

Whispers from Heaven

2009-09-03T11:47:00.021-04:00

168 million needy children in this world

147 million orphans

11 million children starve to death or die from preventable, treatable illnesses every year

8.5 million work as child slaves, prostitutes, or in other horrific conditions

2.3 million children worldwide are living with HIV

I have tried to wrap my head around these numbers in the past, tried to understand the reasons why. I have sat in the quietness of my home, with tears rolling down my cheeks, crying out to God to show me why this kind of suffering is happening. I have come to realize that the "why" is not important, the "how" doesn't matter. What matters is what I am going to do about it. I cannot save the world, I know that, but I can make a difference.

In the short time that I have been blogging, the Lord has directed me to many, many wonderful blogs, written by amazing women. Women who love Jesus and are striving to live their lives in accordance to His words and instructions. Women who are unashamedly sharing the love of Christ, and in the words of Lysa Terkeurst becoming the "yes women" we need to be. I came across a blog today that spoke directly to my heart. This young woman lives in Uganda, she is from Tennessee. She is only 20 years old. This beautiful girl has given up the life of a "regular" 20 year old, the Starbucks, the designer jeans, the fancy car, everything that most 20 year old girls, most women who live in the western world for that matter, hold dear. WOW! Inspiring, truly inspiring. Amazima.org, check out her website, her blog can be found here too. Read some of her posts, be inspired, be changed, I know I was.

In the book "What happens when women say yes to God" by Lysa Terkeurst she talks about the fact that sometimes the God of this universe pauses for one person. When I sat back after reading some of Katies blog posts this quotation came to my mind, it struck me, that if He could pause for me, why shouldn't or why couldn't I pause for Him? What I mean by this is, why can't I put my life here in Brockville Ontario on pause for a while? Why shouldn't I let God use me? Why is it so hard to say "yes" to Him in the call to the mission field? Sometimes I ask, "why me?". I don't know why God has spoken to me in this way, or why He has called me to go, I am an ordinary girl, with no special talents. I am an ordinary girl who has allowed fear to penetrate the very depths of her soul when it comes to moving away from her cushy life here. Some people in my life may think that I have no fear, that I am courageous enough to take on this calling, but to be honest, I am terrified. Katie says "Courage is not about knowing the path, it is about taking the first step", so true. I can no longer ignore the gentle whispers of my Father, I can no longer be afraid. What is the Lord whispering in your ears today?

What does all of his mean in my life? I will let you know. I am certainly on a journey of listening, of hearing, of obeying, and most of all I am on a journey of trusting. I know that God will light the path, He will open doors, He will, because He is. I will ask, if you will, pray for my heart and my mind to be in total surrender to Him, please pray for the details to become clear, please pray for my daughter, that her heart too would be touched in this very special way. Pray that we would both experience our heavenly Father in a way that has never happened before, that we would not question the path. Thank you.

2 Samuel 24:24

...."No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing." .....

Abundant Blessings,

Holding tight and letting go.

2009-09-02T10:00:00.005-04:00

In my previous post I mentioned that many times over the last few weeks I have sat down hoping to write something inspiring and heart felt, but the words didn't come. I was beginning to feel like I had been a fool to think that this "blogging" thing was for me. Perhaps I had said all that I had to say, knowing deep down that this could not be the case because my mind is always turning frantically with thoughts. Sometimes the thoughts make total sense, other times, they are just random thoughts that make sense only in my head. I hoped to spare all of you from those thoughts and reserve this blog for only the important, thought provoking, inspiring ones that make sense to all of us.

Over the last few weeks, especially the last few days, I have also felt very attacked. The struggles that had such a strong hold on me in the past had crept back into my mind and my heart. Sin, that I thought I had conquered once and for all, was back, with a vengeance I might add. I have been discouraged, deflated, feeling the guilt consume my thoughts and my heart. "How could you allow that back into your life?" I asked. "What kind of a christian woman are you anyway?" I muttered to myself in anger and disgust. Then it hit me, like a brick wall, the enemy wants nothing more then for me to feel these things. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming the enemy for my opening the door fully and completely when this particular sin came knocking, I did it, with a willing heart, but the enemy sure cheered for me when I did. I gave him a foothold, and he managed to increase the problem. ARGH........SIGH.......

I am working through this right now. I know that my loving Father has forgiven me and that I have no right to hang onto it and not forgive myself, however, I am finding that very difficult. Why do we hang onto things? Why do we feel that it is necessary sometimes to carry guilt around for a bit longer, to dig the knife in a little bit farther, do we think that God doesn't get it? That He didn't really understand how bad we were? That even though we asked Him to forgive us, we truly didn't deserve it and he didn't know that? HE GETS IT, HE UNDERSTANDS, HE KNOWS!! We have no right to hold to things once we have sought His forgiveness, once we have surrendered whatever it is to Him.

I love the song "Perfect People" by Natalie Grant. It speaks to me every time I hear it. I think all too often that I need to be perfect and when I fall short of perfection......hello....EVERYDAY, EVERY SECOND.......I need to hang on and suffer for it. I forget the fact that Jesus already suffered, that He gave His precious life for my life. He does not expect us to hang on the way we do, His arms are reaching for us to give it to Him, fully and completely, so that His love and forgiveness can fall over us and bring us peace.

Father,

I pray that your peace would fall on me today. Forgive me for holding on when I have no right to do this. Forgive me for my sins. Thank you Jesus for going to the cross for me, for shedding your blood for me, even though I am so undeserving. Thank you for loving me despite my imperfections. I love you. Amen.

Abundant Blessings,

A prayer request

2009-08-26T15:18:00.003-04:00

I want to apologize to anyone who has been regularly visiting my blog, as I have been very neglectful in my writing. This has not been by choice, I can assure you. Many times I have sat in front of my computer wanting for the words to come, but the words didn't come. Today it has come to my attention that a friend of mine and her family have been going through a really hard time the last few days. My writing today is to ask for prayer. Baby Kayden was born on Saturday and since that day there have been some very serious complications. I will not give details as it is not my place, but if you would pray, I know that God knows. Please pray for healing. Pray that the presence of the Almighty would be near to this family during this time and that they would see His mighty hands at work. Pray that peace would descend from heaven and touch the very hearts of this new mom and dad. Thank you. May we all see God's work in this.

Father,

I lift baby Kayden up to you now. I pray Father for healing. I pray that your presence would be felt by all who enter the room of this baby. Pour out your peace and comfort. Thank you for your plan. Amen.

Spoken words.....

2009-08-12T14:28:00.004-04:00

Socrates said....."know thyself"

Marcus Aurelius said......"control thyself"

Christ said....."deny thyself"

A journey of discovery (part 1)

2009-08-10T17:46:00.010-04:00

I am on a journey, a quest if you will, to find out how to be the best possible woman I can be. This statement of course, encompasses a whole gamut of things, but I want to focus on the relational part of me. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I am a 35 year old woman, single, never been married. I have also stated that I am not great at relationships, the male/female kind, the kind that our hearts long for, you know the ones I mean. The kind of relationships that we see on T.V and in the movies. Yes, that's right, I do think that those relationships, the ones that most people call unrealistic, DO in fact exist. Don't get me wrong, I don't have this idea of my future husband and I skipping through a field of daisies everyday, hand in hand with smiles as big as the ocean. I know there are struggles and that marriage is hard work, but despite that fact, I think that if we are committed to allowing God to show us how, than it can be a beautiful thing. So, that is my quest, to allow God to come and show me how I can be the best wife that I can be instead of focused on finding the right husband.

Lets take a good look at what the bible says about a good wife......

Proverbs 31
Hymn to a Good Wife
10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

Easy breezy right???? NOT! I have pondered this scripture many times, hoping every time I looked at it, studied it, that I would be able to see myself in the words......knitting and sewing, up before dawn preparing breakfast, eager to start her work,in no hurry to call it quits for the day, skilled in crafts, makes her own clothing, always faces tomorrow with a smile, always speaks kindly. Just a few examples of where I have not seen my face in these words. I sometimes think to myself, no wonder God has not sent a husband if this is who I should be. I am a failure! Just what the enemy wants me to think right?

I know that I am not a failure, I know that I am a great woman, a strong woman, a kind and loving woman. I also know that I need the Lord to show me how I can be a better woman. I could focus on the knitting and sewing, which if you know me well is pretty funny, or I could put this scripture into perspective for my own life.

Here are my thoughts......

1. A good wife is trustworthy. She never gives her husband reason to question her integrity and complete devotion to him. He never has to wonder where she is, what she is doing and who she is with. We hear a lot today about unfaithful husbands and wives, enough to make someone who is single question the longing for marriage, again something the enemy loves to hear, this gives him a foothold doesn't it?

2. A good wife is devoted to bringing her husband good and not harm, therefore she is never spiteful and never uses hurtful words. This is a hard one, sometimes I am guilty of saying things to people that I love in hurt that in turn hurts them. The only way to combat this is prayer. Knowing that our loving Father will remove the desire to hurt the ones we love.

3. A good wife is a good steward. This means that she is wise with money and assets. She delights in doing good for her family and provides for them in any way she can. She works hard and thinks nothing of it, in fact she enjoys working hard for her family so much that she is in no hurry to stop for the day. Hard one, I don't know about you but once 4:25 comes I am pretty much ready to leave work for the day. I also have my guilty pleasures, like Starbucks coffee to name one. If I am truly a good steward, than perhaps spending 4 to 6 dollars on a coffee is not the right choice to make. That may not be the case for everyone and I am not slamming Starbucks, believe me.

So, just a couple of things to ponder. I am working hard at really understanding this Proverbs 31 woman. Will you join me? I will post part 2 in the days to come.

Father,

I ask that you reveal the lessons to me that I need to take from this scripture. Allow my heart to open, so that I may see the areas that I need to work on in order to become the woman that You have created me to be. For all of the ladies that I know, married or not, I pray that your Holy Spirit would come upon us, mold us father, like clay, into what You want to see. Amen

Blessings,

Simply Awestruck

2009-08-06T20:00:00.004-04:00

Have you ever sat quietly in God's presence and allowed yourself to be in awe of Him? He is truly an awesome God. I don't find that I do this enough, sit in His presence, allowing my heart and my mind to be enthralled by my creator.

Hebrews 12:28 (New International Version)

28Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe (emphasis mine)

Lets think for a minute about the wonders of this world. The mountains, the ocean, the animals, diverse people, diverse cultures....I could go on and on about all of the things in this world that make our hearts swell and our minds wonder how it could be possible. Think for a second about how we have been created, the details, everything about how our bodies work is a wonderment. I am amazed at the body as a machine, how every system does its job, independently and dependently of all the other systems. Truly amazing. Only an awesome God could do that.

What is even more amazing to me is that the one and only God, the creator of this universe, the almighty, the one who did all of these amazing things and continues to do amazing things everyday with power and control, loves ME. Me, He loves and cares for me, and for you, for all of us. He doesn't reserve this caring for when we do great things either, He loves us in the everyday lives that we lead. He loves and cares for us when we are standing in the line for our coffee, He is enthralled by us, He watches us always, whether we are doing great and important things or if we are doing the daily routine things. Can you feel it? Do you invite God into even the mundane things in your life? He wants us to feel Him there.

I am in awe of this love, I am in awe of His creation. WOW, there are no words in this or any other language to truly describe just how awesome He is. In all of His awesomeness He watches over us, cares and loves us, we are so important to Him. I know I am going on a bit, I think because I cannot wrap my head around it all, I cannot stress how AWESOME He is. I want to feel awestruck by HIM always, I never want to feel the least bit apathetic about Him. I suppose there have been times in my life where that is exactly how I felt, apathetic, indifferent. I can say this for sure, those times were dark times for me, times that I never want to go back to.

Are you awestruck by HIM everyday?

Lord,

I ask that our hearts be aware of YOU, that our eyes and our minds be aware always of your awesomeness. I ask that you forgive me for forgetting, and for not feeling awestruck by YOU, because YOU are the one that deserves that feeling above everything else in this world. Thank you for who YOU are, thank you for loving us. Amen

Blessing,

An amazing story

2009-08-05T15:28:00.001-04:00

I think this story is worth sharing.......

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What are they thinking?

2009-08-05T09:23:00.010-04:00

I have to confess something. For the last 2 weeks I have been watching the T.V show "More to Love", there I said it. I have been a long time boy cotter of shows like "The Bachelor" and "the Bachelorette" feeling that nothing worth while could possibly come from one man or one woman trying to find love in a house full of the opposite sex. However, for some unknown reason, this particular show has gotten my attention. The premise is exactly the same as the above mentioned programs, only this one has a cast of "bigger" girls and one "bigger" man. Hence the programs title, "More to Love". Is the reason I am drawn to it because I myself am considered to be a "bigger" girl? Perhaps. Or could it be because after watching the first episode I became invested in the lives of these young woman, willing my voice to be heard through the T.V...."Don't do it, get out while you can, you are beautiful, don't lower yourself to the level of the production company!!!!!" Can you sense my frustration?

So how about some vulnerability? Sure why not, this is my blog and I can cry if I want too, right????? Just kidding, there are no tears. I am a 35 year old women, single, I have a beautiful 12 year old daughter (and by beautiful I mean on the INSIDE and the OUTSIDE), I have never been married, but have been in one long term relationship. I am also a "bigger" girl. I have never been really great at dating and relationships, I guess because the right man has never dropped from the sky. But also because I have never, up until recently found much worth in myself, why? Because I was focused on my outside appearance and not on what my heart looked like. Don't get me wrong, I am not hard on the eyes, at least I don't think so, I am called "cute", "pretty", two words that used to make me cringe, now though, I am proud to be called those things. Now I know that my inside counts for more than my outside. I have not mastered this yet, but am working on it. I Have been rejected in the past by more than one man because my my outward appearance, sad really isn't it, that our society has made us into such surface creatures. The enemy loves it! He gets into our heads to reiterate the words "you are worth nothing, look at you, you are overweight, you don't dress in the right clothes"......etc..... We have all heard that voice haven't we? the words may be different but the idea is the same, and the effect on us can sometimes be paralyzing. This is the reason I am invested in those women from "More to Love". They are saying the words I have heard so many women say, including myself. They long to be loved by someone who actually SEES them. I wish that I could tell them who that man is, that they have been "fearfully and wonderfully made". The one who truly matters loves them and sees them for who they are, beautiful,intelligent, amazing women.

I wonder, what would Jesus say to me about all of this? Why do I concentrate on the voice of my enemy instead of the voice of my Saviour? Think about what Jesus would say about you and jot some of the words down, keep them close by you always so that you can look at them to remind you of your beauty. What does it mean to be a godly woman? Is it really important to God that we wear designer jeans and have our hair perfectly highlighted, of course not. It is important to look after ourselves, to be healthy, but to strive for perfection will only find you empty.

Proverbs 31:

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised

Father,

Thank you for seeing us, for loving us with no strings attached. May we all listen closely for your voice. I pray Lord that the beauty of our hearts shine through. For all of the lonely men and women out there looking for love, may they find peace in your arms. Amen

Say "Yes"

2009-08-03T15:14:00.006-04:00

I came across a blog recently, entitled "What happens when women say yes to God". This intrigued me. What would happen? What could we expect if we truly did this? What would our days look like if before our feet hit the floor each and every morning we said "yes God, whatever your plan for today is, I am in!!" This blog was going through each chapter on a weekly basis, discussing the lessons learned etc.... I would like to do the same, and if you are interested in doing this along side of me that would be fantastic.

Every Monday I will discuss one chapter from the book "What happens when women say yes to God" by Lysa Terkeurst in hopes to generate some discussion, some comments. Please remember that I am just a normal girl with no formal training in theology, ministry,or writing for that matter. I am a woman on a journey to get to know Christ just like all of you. This will not be formal or full of profoundly deep theological thoughts. This will be a place of light discussion and lessons learned.

If you are interested the book can be purchased through Christianbooks.com, or ordered through your local christian bookstore. I will begin this study the second week of September.

Thanks,

Here am I, send me

2009-08-02T20:02:00.008-04:00

I feel like this has been a quiet prayer of mine for sometime now, here I am send me, quite possibly my whole life. As a child I dreamed of going to far off lands, I would sit for hours looking at the National Geographic magazine imagining myself in the pictures. The excitement of travel is in me still, learning about new cultures and meeting people who live lives very different from my own. My life has been very easy in comparison to that of many people in this world. As a child it never occurred to me that perhaps God was putting those desires on my heart. Only in the most recent past have I come to realize that this could be a possibility. That missions, was in fact my purpose in this world, in this life. I have a longing in my heart to change this world, a longing in my heart to stand up for people who have no one to fight for them, a longing to see with my own eyes the faces of children who have just been handed their first and maybe only meal of the week, the day. I long to see joy in the faces of those who have nothing in the eyes of our western society but because they have found Jesus feel as though they are rich and have everything.

I spent a couple of weeks in Africa this past winter with a team. It was astounding to me how these men, women and children could stand in a place where all around them was suffering, and still lift their hands in praise to the one and only God. True, pure worship, coming from the most honest place. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could praise Him, even in the most difficult time. Instead, I find more often than not we complain, we whine, we blame. We allow our suffering to become almost like another body part. That however, is for another post, another time.

Social justice is one of my passions. Where does that fit in with being a christian? Are we not just a apathetic at times as the rest of society? Do we not fall into the same thinking as most of North America, it is "us and them" instead of "we"? Sure, we give to our church, we even sponsor children through World Vision and Christian Children's Fund, all very good things, but my question is, couldn't we do more? We read about AIDS and Malaria, we see pictures of dying children or orphans, but do we feel it in the very centre of our hearts? Do we truly do what it says in the Bible to speak out for those who have no voice?

Proverbs 31:8-9 (New International Version)

8 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy."

I don't know what this looks like in all of your lives, I am only figuring it out in my own. It has only taken 35 years!!!! I know that my heart aches for what people in this world are enduring right now, but what exactly am I doing about it? I want to think that if the Lord told me to go, that I would have the courage and strength that Isaiah did when he said "here am I, send me."

Isaiah 6:8

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Do you have the courage?

Lord,

I thank you for your word. I thank you Father that you promise us that you will never leave us, that you will give us whatever we need for whatever the call. Allow us to hold onto your exceedingly great and precious promises. Amen

Here Am I

On the other side of the world
She stands on the ocean shore
Gazing at the heavens she wonders
Is there something more
Never been told the name of Jesus
She turns and walks away
What a shame

Just across the street in your hometown
Leaving from his nine to five
Gazing down the road he wonders
Is this all there is to life
Never been told the name of Jesus
He continues on his way
What a shame

[Chorus:]
Whom shall I send
Who will go for me
To the ends of the earth
Who will rise up for the King
Here am I send me
Here am I send me

Whether foreign land or neighbors
Everyone's the same
Searching for the answers
That lie within your name
I want to proclaim the love of Jesus
In all I do and say
Unashamed

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news
Proclaiming peace and your salvation

Inspiring

2009-08-01T11:51:00.008-04:00

Dr Helen Roseveare

Please read Helen Roseveare' story and open yourself up to what God may want you to take away from it. This incredible story has inspired me, has made me think, has made me ponder my life, and has given me another view of Jesus. Anne Graham Lotz says that you truly can see the face of Jesus reflected back at you when you look at Helen Roseveare. Are people able to see Jesus in you, in me, in the good times and the bad?

Helen Roseveare
By Rebecca Hickman
"If Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for him." That was her mission's motto. In 1953, Helen sailed for the Congo with hopes of serve Christ as a medical missionary with WEC (Worldwide Evangelization Crusade). For so many years she'd dreamed of being a missionary. As a young girl, she'd hear stories of her aunt and uncle's experiences on the mission field, and now she was eager to have her own stories to tell.

In 1925, Helen Roseveare was born in England. Because education was a high priority for her father, Helen was sent to a prestigious all girls school when she was 12. After that, she went to Cambridge. It was during her time in college that she became a Christian, truly understanding the gospel for the first time. She left her Anglo-Catholic background and became an evangelical. Her focus was to finish her medical degree and prepare herself for the mission field.

After she became a doctor, Helen sailed to minister in the Congo. She was highly intelligent and efficient, but her role as a woman created struggles with her fellow missionaries and nationals. In that time period, single missionaries were seen as second-class citizens of the mission station. In the Congo, the medical needs were overwhelming. She couldn't just stand by and watch all the suffering around her. She was determined to make a difference. She dreamed of establishing a training center where nurses would be taught the Bible and basic medicine and then sent back to their villages to handle routine cases, teach preventive medicine, and serve as lay evangelists. She didn't have approval from her colleagues, who believed that medical training for nationals was not a valid use of time, evangelism and discipleship were more important.

Despite the conflict with them, after only two years after arriving in the Congo, she had build a combination hospital/ training center in Ibambi, and her first four students had passed their government medical exams. Her colleagues weren't as excited about her progress as she was. They felt that she was wasting time, so they decided that she would better serve the Congo by relocating in Nebobongo, living in an old leprosy camp that had become overgrown by the jungle. Helen argued that she must stay and continue the nursing training in Ibambi, but they insisted that she move. It was a major setback, but she went. Starting from scratch again, she built another hospital there and continued training African nurses. Still, she was strong-willed and seemed to be a threat to many of her male colleagues. In 1957, they decided to relocate John Harris, a young British doctor, and his wife to Nebobongo to make him Helen's superior. Dr. Harris even took charge of leading the Bible class that she'd taught. She was devastated. She'd been her own boss for too long, and although she tried to let go of control, she just couldn't. Everything that had been hers was now his. This resulted in tension between them, of course. Her independence was her greatest strength, but also a definite weakness. She did not know how to submit to imperfect leadership. In 1958, after over a year of struggling with who was in control in Nebobongo, Helen left for England for a furlough. She was disillusioned with missionary work and felt like she might not ever go back to the Congo.

Back in England, she really struggled with why she had all these issues between herself and the male leaders in the Congo. She began to convince herself that her problem was her singleness. What she needed was a doctor-husband to work with her and be on her side during the power struggles! She didn't think that was too much to ask. So, she asked God for a husband, and told Him that she wouldn't go back as a missionary until she was married. She met a young doctor and decided he would be the one. (She wasn't very patient in waiting on the Lord's timing.) She bought new clothes, permed her hair, and resigned from the mission, all to try and win his love. He did care for her, but not enough to marry her. Helen was heartbroken, mostly because she'd wasted so much time and money trying to force her plan into reality - without God.

Still single, Helen returned to the mission and left for Congo in 1960. It was a tense time for that country. They had been seeking independence for a long time, so a huge civil war was on the verge of beginning. Many missionaries left because the risk was so high. Helen had no plans of going home. She believed that God had truly called her back to Congo and that He would protect her if she stayed. She was joined by a few other single women, who made it difficult for the men, they didn't want to look like sissies. She was given charge of the medical base in Nebobongo because John Harris and his wife left on furlough. She had so many opportunities to minister in the midst of the turmoil. She was sure that God had her right where He wanted her to be. She continued to learn to see God in the details of her life, to trust him more fully. She had been coming closer to total trust in God all of her life, between bouts of depression, sometimes feeling that she was not really a Christian because she was capable of spells of anger and bitterness and other sins. "I was unable to reach the standard I myself had set, let alone God's. Try as I would, I met only frustration in this longing to achieve, to be worthy." She came to recognize that hatred of sin is a gift of the Holy Spirit.

Rebels were gaining strength, and there were reports of missionaries being attacked. Helen endured a burglary and an attempted poisoning, but always in her mind the situation was improving. She felt that she had to stay, because there was so much need and so many people depending on her. On August 15, the rebels took control of Nebobongo, and Helen was in captivity for the next 5 months. On the night of October 29, Helen was overpowered by black rebel soldiers in her little bungalow. She tried to escape, but they found her and dragged her to her feet, struck her over the head and shoulders, flung her to the ground, kicked her, struck her over and over again. She was pushed back into her house and raped brutally without mercy. Helen suffered more sexual brutality before her release. God used this in her life to minister to other single women missionaries who feared that they'd lost their purity due to a rape and thus their salvation. Helen knew that her relationship with God had not been damaged. She had not failed God in any way because of the rapes. Finally, on December 31, 1964 she was rescued. Helen had a sense of joy and relief, but also a sense of deep sorrow as she heard of many of her friends' martyrdom.

Helen returned to Africa for the third time in March of 1966. She served for 7 more years, but it was full of turmoil and disappointment. The Congo had changed since the war. There was a new spirit of independence and nationalism. They no longer respected the doctor who'd sacrificed so much for them. Helen left Africa in 1973 with a broken spirit. Her 20 years of service in Africa ended in defeat and discouragement.

When she got home, she went through a very, very lonely period in her life. She turned to God. He was all she had. Instead of bitterness there was a new spirit of humility and a new appreciation for what Jesus had done for her on the cross. God was molding her for her next ministry. She became an internationally acclaimed spokes-woman for Christian missions. Her candid honesty was refreshing in a profession known as one of supersainthood. Helen mobilized people by showing them that God used imperfect people with real struggles to be his ambassadors to the unreached world.

Books by Helen Roseveare: Give Me This Mountain, written in 1966, and He Gave Us a Valley, written in 1976. (Info taken from: From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya, by Ruth A. Tucker, and a few websites. Some quotes taken from Give Me This Mountain.)

Am I qualified?

2009-07-31T09:18:00.007-04:00

Have you ever been asked to do something that you really didn't want to do? Have you ever felt a gentle nudge in your heart urging you to take something on that scared you? Have you ever said this to God?....."Not me God, please not me, I don't know how, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do. Please don't send me. please don't make me talk to that person about you. I don't know scripture, I don't have the words". I believe we all have those thoughts and prayers. I have to admit to that almost daily. Even Moses questioned his abilities. He told God that he was not eloquent, that he was slow of speech and tongue.

Exodus 4:10-17

10 Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."
11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

We all doubt ourselves at some point in our lives. We all have moments of worry and trepidation about certain times or situations. I doubt myself more often than I would like too, I also question my abilities more than I should, especially when it comes to talking about Jesus. The beauty is this, we don't have to worry or feel anxious, He will provide the words if we are truly meant to speak them. I have this beautiful image in my mind of God reaching down from Heaven, placing His words on my lips with his hands. How could I question my qualifications if I am open to His working in me? I don't have higher education in theology, I cannot rhyme off verses from the Bible, I cannot claim to have the perfect Godly life.....notice the "I", I cannot do anything, but HE can do everything in me and through me. I have to be willing. So, am I qualified? Are you qualified? YES, we are!

If you are feeling that gentle nudge, or if you hear those quiet whispers from God, be brave, be courageous. Imagine the life we could have if we allowed God to use us. Remember that it isn't always the big stuff, sometimes He just wants us to hold someones hand, or smile at someone on the street. We may not even be aware of how God used us, we may not get credit, or praise. That isn't what it's about, it is only and all about HIM. Let Him work in you, let Him use you, say "yes" to God and see where it may take you.

2 Timothy 1:7 (New Living Translation)
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Father,

Give us the courageous to step out of our comfort zone. Allow us to be open to what you want to do through us. Remind us that it isn't about us, it is about you. Amen

Love,

I have been thinking about my feet

2009-07-30T13:20:00.006-04:00

I really have been thinking about my feet lately. I know what you're thinking..."Cheryl must have a lot of idle time on her hands". I can assure you that I do not, but sometimes my mind does wander to things such as this. My feet are in real need of a pedicure right now, lucky for me (and my feet), it is booked for tonight. My thoughts however, have not been on my need for a pedicure, or how cute they look when they are cleaned up and have new fresh polish on the toe nails, nope, my thoughts have been a little more deep than that.

It amazes me how God put us together, how every small and fine detail is so perfect in its design, right down to the little toe. Even that little toe has purpose. Purpose...hummm...I must be going somewhere with this right? RIGHT!

As Christians we do have a divine purpose. Each of us is called to do something different, but we all have the calling on us to share the gospel. Easy right????hahahaha....NOT. How does this relate to my feet? The Bible says this:

Isaiah 52:7 (New International Version)

7 "How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
"Your God reigns!"

This is reiterated in Romans:

Romans 10:15 (New International Version)

15"And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

Beautiful feet. Yes. We all have beautiful feet if we are bringing the good news of Christ. This doesn't mean that we will all be sent to far away places, our mission field is right where we are today. Let us all have the courage to share the love of Christ, let us all be brave enough to tell people what Jesus did for all of us.

I have a few friends who will be travelling to a far away land next month. They will be sharing to people the love of Jesus, to them I say, remember just how beautiful your feet are. You have been called.

Father,

Thank you for your word. Thank you that you have called each of us to live in your ways. I pray that each of us would be given your words through your Holy Spirit to share with those who may not know you, the love, mercy, and grace that you bestow on each and every one of your children. Amen

Abundant blessings,

What I know for sure

2009-07-29T10:10:00.010-04:00

So, I thought that I would give this blogging thing a good try. I must confess, I am not very computer savvy, so this is a big stretch for me. Nor, am I a profound writer or speaker. On that note, thanks for stopping by to read my "rambling". My hope in doing this blog is to encourage others to live the life they are meant to live according to our Lord and Saviour. I am on my journey and would like to share with you my insights or "aha" moments on a regular basis. Please be patient as I am new at this as I said, so I am learning how to make this an interesting and uplifting blog for you to visit.

What do I know for sure? I know that I am chosen by God, I am one of His beloved, I am cherished by Him, I am beautiful to Him. I know that He has a divine plan for my life, one that I have been running away from until recently. I know that His way is the right way and that I am nothing without Him in my heart and life. I know that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13.That is a little scary sometimes. Is the Lord going to send me far away? Is He going to make me give something up that I hold onto tightly? Is He going to ask me to love someone that I don't want to love? The answer is YES, YES, and YES.....and we can, through Him who gives us strength. I know this to be true because I have experienced this in my own life and have seen it in others lives. I know for sure that if we truly surrender all to Him, He will make a beautiful thing out of our lives. How do we surrender? I am learning this on a daily basis, and I must tell you that I am not good at it. I like to have control, I even enjoy being in charge sometimes. I know that I am on a journey of increasing my faith, and having faith is the only way to learn how to surrender it all to Him.

Father,

I pray that you would continue to increase my faith. I pray that you would increase the faith of all those praying this prayer. Lift us up, Holy Spirit come and do your mighty work in us. Give us the courage to walk in your ways, to be who you made us to be, to do what you are calling us to do. Thank you for loving us. Amen.

Thanks.